On the Journey With
Amalie Parmerlee..
I had the opportunity to meet Amalie on a visit to some friends in Wisconsin. I would never have guessed that she was a fellow cancer patient, because she appeared so healthy and had such a positive disposition. She is an absolute delight. She now gives a good portion of her time to minister to fellow strugglers, and I am delighted to share some of her story here:
After 16 months of a long-distance dating relationship with a widower with three young children, I moved across country in January of 2023. Part of the complexity of our relationship was that he lost his wife in a difficult two-year battle with cancer. But we felt enough of a connection that we both diligently sought God’s will about engagement. Months prior to this move, I felt prompted to pray that if I were ever to get cancer that the Lord would step in to prevent us from moving forward. I did not want his children, or him, to have to walk through that again.
I prayed that God would give me clarity about next steps by April 11, I have learned that praying with that kind of specificity deepens our connection with the Lord. On March 31, seemingly out of nowhere, he broke up with me. Fighting back tears, he was perplexed by his misgivings. He did not understand why after 18 months we still had no clarity about our future. It made no sense. He wavered for about two weeks. It was brutal. But ultimately, with little natural understanding, he decided he couldn’t continue. Convinced my heart could only fully heal by moving out of the state, I finished my job as a school nurse. I requested a mammogram before my insurance changed and was shocked to receive a breast cancer diagnosis. It had already spread to my lymph nodes. I had 24 hours to figure out insurance and whether or not to move.
I was not afraid of dying. I was so grateful for the gracious gift of salvation through Christ who gave himself for us and whose resurrection gives us new life. Even with that confidence, there was SO much grief. Besides the break-up, I nearly lost my dad in the middle of trying to sort out the engagement. All the things were piling up. Yet, my biggest longing was for God to get glory in whatever way He wanted to use my story. He brought me to a place of surrender. I determined that even if just one person came to Christ through my cancer, it would be worth it. On Easter, God answered my prayer, and a close friend that I met at a cancer center gave her life to Jesus.
Three weeks ago, a CT scan revealed that I had two spots on my sternum and lungs. Ugh! It became another opportunity for surrender. Last week, God opened the door to a special PET scan that reveals greater detail than a typical PET scan. Friends and my elders laid hands on me. My family cried out to God. Then last Friday, my oncologist called to tell me that my results were “bone dry” (such a funny way to put it when concerned about cancer in the bones) for residual, recurrent, or metastatic breast cancer. I am so undeserving, but it seems God miraculously healed me once again.
Although I would not have chosen my story to play out the way it has, I would not change it. I long for Him to use me in whatever way He deems best. I am beyond grateful that the worst thing that could ever happen to me is actually the best thing in that I would get to be present with my Savior. I long for each of you to have that hope no matter what you are facing.
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
Let’s chat about serenity. Serenity means the state of being calm and peaceful. I spend a lot of time in the recovery community and serenity is something that’s not only talked about quite a bit but leaned on as a tool for recovery.
You’ve probably heard of the Serenity Prayer. The Serenity Prayer talks us through the path to serenity. And just in case you were wondering, it has to do with giving up control of things we have no power to change. This points to the fact that trying to control everything in our life, but especially the things that can’t be changed by us, is not only a practice in futility but it leads us in the opposite direction of serenity. For a girl that spent most of her life trying to control things, this was both a relief for me and a struggle with my independent nature. I have come to realize I can’t control everything, and I can’t change anybody but myself. Things like the weather, the cost of groceries, and even my husband’s emotional state each day are out of my control. I can’t change them. I can only live one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; trusting that God will make all things right as I humbly surrender. It’s a journey for sure. One that I will probably be on for the rest of my life, but hopefully will increase my serenity as I go. In case you need some serenity today, here is that prayer for you:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. Taking as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have. Trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will. So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next. Amen.
Caregivers Corner with
Lori Smith
To Support (noun): to provide assistance that enables one to function or act.
There’s no doubt about it, Cancer is a bitter cup. It’s a hard pill to swallow. And most people fight cancer to the bitter end. Bitterness is not a sinful emotion in and of itself. It’s all about where we choose to direct the bitterness. Bitterness of spirit is expected in this broken world.
Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. Proverbs 14:10 (NIV)
Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly. Matthew 26:75 (NIV)
In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord. 1 Samuel 1:10 (NIV)
The cry of our hearts can be bitter. We can ask, as Jesus did in Matthew 26:39, for the Lord to take the cup of suffering from our loved one and from ourselves. He wants to hear our honest lament about how much we hate cancer, how much it has changed our lives, and how much we want Him to heal our person and make it all better. He wants us to bring our bitterness of spirit to Him rather than hide it away like it’s not happening.
And then, one day at a time, He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. Isaiah 61:3
Worship Moment with
Joel Salabarria
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: Never Bow (Spotify, YouTube and Apple Music)
Band: Red Worship (featuring Roosevelt Stewart))
From: How He Reveals * 2024
This is a war cry song. I love this because it presents the moment we declare ‘ok enough is enough!’ Fav lines “Right here’s where we stand we draw the line we’re on the Lords side.” “I will never bow to a king without a crown.” This song gets me ready for fight week against the enemy!
If you’re done with straddling the fence
Keep standing keep standing
If your God is more than who’s against
Keep standing keep standing
If your God still sits upon His throne
Don’t bow keep standing keep standing
If the glory’s His and His alone
Don’t bow keep standing keep standing
This is where we stand
Line in the sand
We’re on the Lord’s side
Kingdom stand your ground
Don’t back down
God will deliver us
When the enemies outnumber you
Keep standing keep standing
There is only one God we answer to
Keep standing keep standing
When the heat turns up and the noise gets loud
Yes I’ll be standing I’ll be standing
And even if He doesn’t bring me out
I went down standing I’m still standing
This is where we stand
Line in the sand
We’re on the Lord’s side
Kingdom stand your ground
Don’t back down
We’re on the Lord’s side
Oh no oh no
I could never bow to a king without a crown
Oh no oh no
I could never bow to a king without a crown
Right here we draw the line
We’re on the Lord’s side
On the Lord’s side
Right here we draw the line
We’re on the Lord’s side
On the Lord’s side
Oh no oh no
I could never bow to a king without a crown
Oh no oh no
I could never bow to a king without a crown
Poetic Encouragement with
Julie Clarke
To Encourage (noun): to give support and hope to someone so that they will do or continue to do something.
Metamorphosis Prayer
I’m happy to be quiet
Content behind the scenes
I simply enjoy just praying for you
Please let me admire your rings
I’ll be here as you feast on life
Right beside you as you grow
Content for you to find your fill
Of all the food I have sown
I’m with you as you wander
I’m with you even then
It seems you’ve gone so far away
It’s just beginning to begin
You’ve found a spot to stop a bit
You’ve found a branch to nestle
It’s here you’ll find a resting place
A place where you can wrestle
I’m still here, just quiet
As I watch you form your shell
Perhaps the world won’t know it’s you
Perhaps they’ll never be able to tell
But I’ve watched you from the beginning
When you were only a hungry tot
You’ve made it this far, don’t give up now
This isn’t all for naught
Come out of your shell, my little love
And allow your heart to dream
Of how you’ll look the day you find
Your color and your gleam
Don’t worry, my love, I’m waiting
And I’ll never leave your side
It’s quite a fantastical journey
So don’t be so content to hide
There’s more beyond what looks so dark
There’s more around the bend
Just rest and allow your heart to change
It’s not just a simple mend
And I’m still here, just praying
Quietly, softly on my knees
Protecting you from wayward pests
Like hungry birds and the bees
It’s a complex transformation
An intricate metamorphosis
I promise there’s a purpose
That you will not want to miss
Wait, I see a little movement
The earth is starting to shake
All this just to glorify
The glorious life I make
My beauty, you can break out now
My beauty, please make your entrance
For you’re not a hungry little worm
You’re a vibrant soaring existence
Shake the moisture from your wings
And find your strength in stillness
Don’t fret, the wind will carry you
You’re not just a hungry near-miss
Your purpose, to display it here
My beautiful Glory on earth
And to show off the simple story of Him
Reflecting His value, His worth
So shake off the shame that made you hide
And sent you seeking shelter
Lean into the love that makes you soar
His hands holding you, always were.
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
Have you ever heard of adding Celtic salt into to your daily regimen, especially if you are very active and sweating a lot? And who isn’t sweating in Texas these days? Not only are you losing water, but also electrolytes. For this reason, it’s not always as simple as just drinking more water when we sweat a lot.
Last summer, we added Celtic salt into my son’s regimen for extra mineral and electrolyte support as an athlete. As a result, we have seen him be able to tolerate exercise in heat much better with faster recovery.
What’s so great about Celtic Salt? It is a natural source of electrolytes, including sodium, potassium, and magnesium. These electrolytes are crucial for maintaining hydration, nerve and muscle function, and pH balance.
I’m not offering medical advice here, so if you have questions, please consult with your physician.
This link has a great explanation of the benefits and differences.
Quick Personal Update
A Reason for Rejoicing
We just got back from our post-surgical visit at Mayo Clinic. Thursday of last week, was a day of testing and scans, and at the end of the day we meet with our urologist to review the results.
Drum roll please…
All good news!!
Everything looked clear. No cancer found anywhere!! Even the bladder was clear! No tumors!!! First time in 4 years I’ve had a clear cystoscopy!
The only issue is that my creatinine levels are still high (a slight uptick from a month ago). That is a measure of kidney function. So they are recommending an increase in water consumption, more fiber, and discontinuing certain supplements. With that result, I am breathing a huge sigh of relief! Thank you for all the prayers and positive vibes sent!!
Prayer of the Week
Xavier University
To Pray (verb): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer ad petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God )Philippians 4:6)
O Holy One, I come before you today in need of your healing hand. In you all things are possible. Hold my heart within yours and renew my body and soul. I am lost, but I come to you with hope and grace. You gave me life, and you also give us the gift of infinite joy. Give me the strength to move forward on the path you’ve laid out for me. Guide me towards better health and give me the wisdom to identify those you’ve placed around me to help me get better.
Reminder!
Keep On Healing Support Group Starting Soon!
Carol and I are starting an in-person support group for cancer patients and their loved ones. It will be on Sunday mornings at 11:00am at Shoreline Church here in Austin (15201 Burnet Rd., Austin, TX 78728). We will start meeting on September 8. You do not need to be a member of the church to attend, and childcare is provided. If you have interest or want to know more, please feel free to give me a call/text at 573.673.6241. If you know someone who might be helped, please feel free to pass this information along.
Interested in supporting this new initative?
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects and team members committed to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families. As we look to the future, we are excited about creating a variety of new resources that will provide pastoral support to those battling cancer. This initiative will include this newsletter AND a host of other resources including a new podcast providing helpful information on health and fitness, fresh pocket prayers delivered daily to fellow cancer warriors, a new page on the website “heal” Heal – Piet Van Waarde with weekly reflections on navigating the “dailyness” of the journey, plus a soon-coming book Keep on Healing that will address the top 50 questions people face when confronted by a cancer diagnosis. We want to make these resources available at little/no cost to those who need them, and your support through the Foundation (https://www.patreon.com/pietvanwaarde) makes that possible.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
