On the Journey With
John Harper...
John and I go to church together here in Austin. He was one of the first people to reach out to me when I went public with my diagnosis. He has been battling cancer for a lot longer than I. Like many fellow warriors, he has had to deal with the roller coaster of emotions – good news followed by bad news. New treatments that are only partly successful. Hopes that are invariably dashed over time. Recently he began a second stem cell treatment that required another month of isolation. I asked, how he could stay hopeful during all this? Here is what he honestly shared with me:
Remaining positive is mostly about an attitude and a mindset. I know it sounds simple, “Keep a positive attitude.” But you have to, because the reality is that your condition (and all that is wrong) is constantly on your mind. The “What ifs?” and “I’m tired!” will beat you down to depression if you let it.
Ever since my “C” journey began over seven years ago, I have lost sleep, focus, concentration, and sometimes faith in the midst of the battling. The thought of stopping treatments, letting myself go and giving up is the demon that has often been in the back (and sometimes, forefront) of my existence. You can’t help but wonder if there is something you have done wrong in life for God to punish you like this.
But then you realize cancer is indiscriminate.
It doesn’t care about good or bad, right or wrong, sin or good intentions. All of these can weigh heavily on your mind and your soul. These questions are magnified by the practical information you need to process along the way.
- Will the insurance approve the treatment plan? Mine rejected it two times before eventual approval.
- How much will this cost?
- What are my options?
- Should I get a second opinion?
- What are the treatments available?
- What if this treatment doesn’t work?
- Will a new cure be discovered?
Every question only had negative answers for me. It can overwhelm you if you let it. With Multiple Myeloma there is no cure outside of God’s miraculous work. With treatments, less than 5% of patients experience no relapse after the first round of treatments. And with me, one of the two critical drugs gave me a severe reaction after two and a half months into a 4-month regiment. Then the transplant involved long stays in the hospital and home isolation for 3 months. All my immunities were gone and there was little or no natural resistance for a long period of time. Many, many days it was overwhelming to say the least. I often wondered if it was all worth it.
Eventually my thoughts went to the end-of-life kind of questions.
- What do I need to “fix” in my life before I am gone?
- What will happen to those you loved and cared about when you’re gone?
- Did I really make a difference in my life – or in the lives of others?
- Would anybody really miss me?
I share all this, not to seek out pity, but to be honest about the experience. But what is also true is that there comes that moment (and sometimes there are many of them) where you must face your reality and figure out how you are going to move forward, even when the prognosis isn’t good. For me that meant paying attention to that feeling I had from the very beginning of this journey. It wasn’t always obvious, but it was always in the back of my thoughts. I just had to pay attention to it. My\ faith, and the love of those closest to me, would keep me from giving all my focus to the negative. It was clear to me that without faith, there is nothing but giving up. And thankfully, God and my wife are good, and they lifted me up every time I felt like giving up.
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
I’ve been studying faith lately – the meaning of faith, the practice of having faith, how faith works in our everyday lives. And I learned some interesting things!
First, faith comes from God. I don’t know about you, but that’s a huge sigh of relief for me. My faith isn’t dependent on me being able to gather enough feelings of belief and it isn’t diminished when I question life’s circumstances. Faith is a gift from God to the yielded believer, thankfully! I just must yield.
Second, the object of our faith must be God. Yes, He himself gives us the faith that we in turn place back in Him. It almost seems counterintuitive, but it’s the correct order of things. Faith comes from God and must be returned to Him for it to have any strength or stability. The faith we receive from God is unshakable. It can be trusted.
When you think about it, it really is just a matter of having everything in its right place. We are the surrendered believer, receiving the faith we need from One greater than us to believe in things only He can deliver in our lives.
Mark 11: 23 “For assuredly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain ‘Be moved and be cast into the sea’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that whatever he says will done, he will have whatever he says.”
Caregivers Corner with
Lori Smith
To Support (noun): to provide assistance that enables one to function or act.
I’ve spent a majority of my quiet time in the Psalms for the past two years. It’s a book of the Bible that offers just about everything – praise, righteous indignation, fear, sadness, joy. But, the one word I think of with the Psalms is comfort. When my husband had cancer and things just weren’t going the way we hoped (and even when they were), the Psalms never failed to offer me comfort in my constant weariness. Like an open invitation, I could curl up in the Father’s lap, and remind myself that He is with me, and He is in control. One of the Psalms I came back to over and over again was Psalms 31.
In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.
Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth.
Psalms 31:1-5 (NIV)
If you haven’t spent time in the Psalms lately, and you need the comfort of the Father this week, I encourage you to finish reading Psalms 31. Allow Him to renew your strength so you can continue to comfort your person as you yourself are comforted.
Worship Moment with
Joel Salabarria
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: More Than Able (Spotify, YouTube and Apple Music)
Band: Maverick City Music
From: TRIBL Music * 2023
I love how this song addresses our humanity first and how sometimes we allow life to take us to a place where we question the capability and ability and even want to of God, however it still comes to the undeniable truth that regardless what it feels like looks like sounds like God is MORE than able!
When did I start to forget
All of the great things You did
When did I throw away
Faith for the impossible
To the impossible
How did I start to believe
That You aren’t sufficient for me
Why do I talk myself
Out of seeing miracles
You do miracles
You are more than able
You are more than able
You are more than able
You are more than able
Who am I to deny
What the Lord can do
Now I see all that I have
I’ve got my confidence back
I put my trust in the One
Who still does miracles
You do miracles
You are more than able
You are more than able
Poetic Encouragement with
Julie Clarke
To Encourage (noun): to give support and hope to someone so that they will do or continue to do something.
The Gold
When you are a bit short on hope
A rope with a fraying end
I have a bit to share with you
‘Til you find yours again
I have a word to offer
A song of strength and grace
A gentle exhortation
To help you find your pace
A truthful observation
That might enlight your mind
A simple obligation of
The purpose God’s designed
I am a fellow traveler
A hand that you might hold
A friend to cheer in struggle
To call out all your gold
I’ve seen you be much stronger
Than you believe is true
Please let us just remember
Just what I’ve seen in you.
Each day we pray is a treasure
Each moment known together
Is just a love note written
In the song that is forever.
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
As summer is winding down, families typically want to make one last trip to the pool or beach. But, then there is the problem of what to bring as snacks. But there is good news. If want to avoid filling up on junk food while you soak up the sun, you’re in luck! Here are some top picks for healthy snacks to bring:
☀️Fruit Salad/skewers A colorful fruit salad is always a refreshing option on a hot day at the beach. Pack a mix of your favorite fruits like watermelon, strawberries, pineapple, blueberries, and grapes.
☀️Veggie & Hummus: Crunchy vegetables like carrots, celery, and cucumber are a great way to satisfy your cravings for something crunchy while getting in some extra vitamins and nutrients and hummus delicious, but it’s also packed with protein and healthy fats.
☀️Nuts: A handful of nuts like almonds, or cashews is a great way to get in some healthy fats and protein.
☀️Protein bites: 2 scoops vegan protein powder, 1/2 cup almond butter, 1/3 cup agave, 1.5 cup GF oats (you may need more – so play with it a little bit). Mix all the ingredients and form into small bites!
*You can use a small amount of dairy free choc chips as well.
Tip: If you’re going to the beach with kids, put these snacks in a tackle box.
Prayer of the Week
Mercy Unbound
To Pray (verb): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer ad petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God )Philippians 4:6)
Jesus, Divine Physician of souls, look upon me with eyes of mercy. May your healing hand rest upon me. May your life-giving powers flow into every cell of my body and into the depths of my soul, cleansing, purifying, restoring me to wholeness and strength for service in your kingdom.
Amen.
Did you know?
Keep On Healing Group
We have a Facebook group that is designed to provide additional opportunities for connection and conversation. If you haven’t yet explored, check it out HERE.
Interested in supporting this new initative?
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects and team members committed to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families. As we look to the future, we are excited about creating a variety of new resources that will provide pastoral support to those battling cancer. This initiative will include this newsletter AND a host of other resources including a new podcast providing helpful information on health and fitness, fresh pocket prayers delivered daily to fellow cancer warriors, a new page on the website “heal” Heal – Piet Van Waarde with weekly reflections on navigating the “dailyness” of the journey, plus a soon-coming book Keep on Healing that will address the top 50 questions people face when confronted by a cancer diagnosis. We want to make these resources available at little/no cost to those who need them, and your support through the Foundation (https://www.patreon.com/pietvanwaarde) makes that possible.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
