Buying the donut without the
sprinkles.
I know this was meant to be funny, but it actually points to a very important truth and that is: getting and keeping a healthy routine is really difficult. I wish it weren’t, but staying on the straight and narrow is the battle I face every single week.
Perhaps you can relate.
There is something immensely satisfying about yielding to a craving in the moment. You savor the taste for a few fleeting seconds, even though you know it will be followed by instant shame and self-loathing. Learning to pass on the “cheap thrill” is a discipline that must be practiced again and again.
With that said, the most crucial tool in this fight is becoming adept at shifting our focus. If we only acknowledge our failures (the moments we cave in), we become discouraged and defeated. Instead, we must actively acknowledge and celebrate small victories.
So, let me start here: If you passed on the sprinkles, that’s a win.
If you drank a glass of water instead of soda, that’s a victory.
If you got up and did 15 air-squats after sitting behind your computer for an hour, that is progress.
By taking the time to celebrate the minor successes, we build momentum and create a narrative of success that finally outweighs the story of failure. In addition, let me share a few things that I have also found to be helpful about staying at it.
1. The 10-Minute Delay Rule
The urge to yield to a craving is often strongest in the first few minutes. When you feel the urge to grab the cheap thrill, implement a 10-minute mandatory delay.
- Acknowledge: Say, “I want that donut, and I can have it, but not for ten minutes.”
- Distract: Use those ten minutes to perform a small, intentional task (drink a full glass of water, step outside, or stretch).
- Reassess: After the timer goes off, ask yourself honestly if the craving is still as powerful. Nine times out of ten, the urgency will have dissipated, and you will be more able to choose the path of discipline.
2. Practice Recalibration, Not Ruin
The mindset of “all or nothing” is the primary enemy of long-term health. If you do slip up—if you really do buy and eat the whole donut, sprinkles and all—don’t allow it to derail your entire day or week. This is recalibration.
- Refuse the Shame Spiral: Acknowledge the choice but immediately close the door on it.
- Execute the Next Healthy Choice: Your next meal, your next glass of water, or your next chance to move is an opportunity to get back on track. One slip is a minor detour, not a complete write-off.
3. Focus on Identity, Not Just Action
Instead of focusing on the rules of your “diet,” focus on the identity you are building. Discipline becomes easier when your actions align with who you believe yourself to be. This is another lesson I learned from James Clear:
- Ask yourself: “What would a healthy person choose in this moment?”
- Shift your internal monologue from: “I can’t eat that (restriction)” to “I don’t eat that because I am a person who values energy and longevity (identity).” This makes the disciplined choice a natural expression of who you are becoming, rather than a struggle against yourself.
Let me close with this, I am increasingly convinced that all self-discipline is rooted in the spirit. While these steps provide practical strategy, the deepest strength comes not from willpower alone, but from prayer. True, lasting congruence is the work of the Holy Spirit, which is why we must continually invite God’s grace and power over our cravings and weaknesses. The human fight for discipline succeeds best when surrendered to and inspired by divine power.
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
I heard a quote last week while watching a random TV show, and I can’t get it out of my head. “Don’t anchor to things you don’t know are true.”
Life is full of what-ifs. Over time, I’ve come to realize it’s the what-ifs that can derail my peace. And nine times out of ten, the what-ifs don’t even come to pass. I end up spending a lot of time and energy anchoring my life to things I don’t even know are true.
I think this might be a part of what the scripture in Matthew is alluding to. The words of Jesus are solid rock truth. In those moments when the what-ifs questions start to rise, I need only remember my anchor doesn’t lie there. It lies in the truth of God’s word and His overwhelming demonstrations of faithfulness in my life. He does what He says He will do. He is who He says He is. That’s an anchor that will hold in every storm.
Of course, I can only anchor to the things I truly know and have taken the time to learn. So, my prayer for you this week is that you get in the truth of God’s word and find there something so solid, so foundational, so strong that it gives you exactly what you need in any storm, whether now or yet to come. The anchor there will hold.
Caregivers Corner
Give Thanks Anyway
Caregiver (verb): One who provides direct support for one who is in need of practical help, encouragement and love.
Caring for a loved one with a life-altering disease is a crucible that quickly (and often unforgivingly) strips away every remaining stich of exuberance, leaving behind an exhausting mix of disappointment, fatigue, and uncertainty. When the future is a question mark and every day is a marathon of practical tasks and emotional weight, the thought of offering thanks can feel hollow or even impossible. Our hearts naturally fixate on the deficits: the lost health, the broken plans, and the weight of responsibility.
But consider this: It is precisely when we are most emptied of strength and overwhelmed by fear that the counter-intuitive discipline of gratitude can make the biggest difference.
The importance of giving thanks in this broken season is not about forcing an emotion we don’t feel; it does not require a triumphant shout or an elaborate statement of faith, but often, it is nothing more than a reluctant stubborn whisper. This whisper might be, “Thank you for this hour of sleep,” or “Thank you for the nurse who smiled today,” or even, “Thank you that I am still standing.” This authentic, non-exuberant offering moves us away from focusing solely on what’s missing and redirects our gaze to the small mercies that are still present. I have heard it said this way, “It is a quiet, daily rebellion against the overwhelming narrative of loss and a purposeful spiritual act of aligning our focus with the enduring reality of God’s goodness.”
When we can muster even that whispered word of thanks, the benefit is twofold and deeply transformative.
1. It serves as a powerful act of redemptive remembrance, anchoring us to what God has already done. By recalling past faithfulness—the provision yesterday, the strength last week, or the miracles we’ve already witnessed—we gather the necessary evidence that sustains us in the chaos of the present.
2. This acknowledgment of His mercy instantly fuels our hope for the future. Gratitude reminds us that the Hand holding us is sovereign and unwavering, transforming the blank space of uncertainty into a future colored by God’s promise of never-failing presence.
This small, consistent offering of thanks mysteriously but deliberately shifts our focus from merely surviving another day to claiming the quiet victory of faith over fear and anxiety.
Worship Moment
with Joel Salabarria
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: New Thing Coming (Spotify and Apple Music)
Band: Elevation Worship
From: “When Wind Meets Fire” (2024)
There’s a movement stirring, a fresh wind of hope, healing, and breakthrough. This song reminds us: past tunnels don’t define you, and chains don’t have the last word.
Darkness bow down to the day
Mountains get up out my way
Breakin’ out of yesterday
I got a new thing coming.
Tell this giant in my face:
“You’re not greater than my faith.”
Best believe me when I say,
I got a new thing coming!
Whatever you’ve been carrying, fear, delay, old labels or unfulfilled promises….today is a fresh page. The “new thing” isn’t just coming, it’s happening. Consider this:
You’re moving from shadows into overflow…
…from waiting into worship,
…from yesterday’s mess to tomorrow’s promise.
You are not overlooked. You are not abandoned. Hold fast. Something powerful is on its way.
Piet's Ponderings
To Ponder (verb): to think about something carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion.
I recently ran across this quote again – and it struck home. I think it is especially relevant in these days, because it reminds me that developing my capacity for love is not so much about changing the world – though it does!
It’s more about changing me into being the man I need to be in a world that sees way too few Christians doing what Jesus said is actually the most important thing…
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
I know this isn’t exactly a nutrition tip, but it is something I’ve been exploring that you might find helpful too.
If you’ve ever stepped out of a sauna and felt lighter, calmer, and somehow renewed, that’s not just your imagination. Sauna therapy has been used for centuries to help the body heal, and modern science is finally catching up.
When you expose your body to heat, something amazing happens: your heart rate rises (like gentle cardio), circulation improves, and your body starts producing heat shock proteins, tiny repair agents that protect your cells and support longevity. Think of it as a deep, detoxifying “sweat session” for your whole system.
Regular sauna use has been linked to lower stress levels, better sleep, and even improved cardiovascular health. And beyond the physical benefits, there’s something deeply grounding about sitting still, letting the heat work its magic, and giving yourself permission to slow down.
No sauna? No problem. A hot bath with Epsom salts, a steamy shower, or even wrapping up in an infrared blanket can offer similar benefits.
Wellness Tip: After your heat session, replenish with this simple hydration tonic – coconut water + a pinch of sea salt + a squeeze of lemon or an electrolyte of your choice.
Word of Encouragement
Look up!
To Encourage (verb): to give support and hope to someone so they will do or continue to do something
I keep coming back to this truth: God redeems it all!
This is a declaration I make (to myself) nearly every morning. It’s a reminder that even the hardest things I’m experiencing are being used by God for one of two purposes:
- To continue shaping my character in ways that will make me a better and more useful instrument for his purposes.
- To open doors to people and experiences I would have never known apart from the struggle.
One of the most important decisions I must make amid any difficult season is to choose not to wallow in it, but to lift my eyes above it to see what God might be doing through it.
Heavenly Father, I come to you today anchored in the firm declaration that You really do redeem it all. I am trusting that no struggle or setback in my life is ever wasted but is continuously being used for my good and Your glory. So, I surrender this day and every difficult season into Your hands, asking for the grace to stop wrestling with the question of “why” or “how” or “when” and instead, train my eye to see the “what now.” Please expand my spiritual vision to recognize Your redemptive purpose: use the pressure of this season to refine my character, making me a more patient and useful instrument, and show me the new doors to people and opportunities that only this current struggle could unlock. Keep me from wallowing in discouragement, and help me lift my gaze above the immediate mess to fix it on Your unwavering goodness, so that my focus rests not on the pain I endure, but on the redemption I anticipate by your grace. In Jesus name.
Support the work!
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects related to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
https://www.patreon.com/c/pietvanwaarde
Experiencing a cancer diagnosis is obviously a profound personal setback, and the added weight of self-blame can make it feel even heavier. While it’s natural to reflect on past choices and wonder if you have contributed to our own illness, getting stuck in a cycle of self-condemnation is a separate matter altogether. It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings of guilt and remorse without letting them define you or impede your journey toward healing. This involves taking a thoughtful and compassionate approach to your past.
The first step in processing this guilt is to separate accountability from condemnation. It’s helpful to own the reality that some past behaviors may have been unhealthy, but this is an entirely different concept from believing you deserve this illness. You can acknowledge, for example, that a long-term smoking habit increased your risk of lung cancer without believing you are a bad person or that this is a form of punishment. True ownership means recognizing the consequences of past actions and committing to better choices moving forward. This is a path of learning and growth, not a cycle of shame.
The goal – and this is really important – is to shift your focus from “Why was I so foolish?” to “What can I do now?”
Next, it is vital to learn and practice self-compassion and forgiveness. Think of it this way: You wouldn’t speak to a friend with a similar diagnosis in a harsh and condemning way; instead you would offer them kindness and empathy. You must extend that same grace to yourself. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing past mistakes; it’s about releasing yourself from the burden of carrying them. You are a person who made certain choices – and yes, maybe some were unwise and irresponsible – but your diagnosis is not meant to define your worth. I am speaking to you as one who has had to work through these very same feelings.
I have resumed my journaling practice to process and release feelings of guilt. I also rely on spiritual friends and counselors for support, as they serve as vital extensions of grace and peace. When I feel stuck, they provide valuable insight and strength, helping me navigate my journey with greater clarity and compassion.
In summary, processing the guilt associated with a cancer diagnosis is a journey of intentional release and radical self-compassion. The key is to avoid the trap of self-blame by embracing accountability and then choosing to extend grace to yourself. By separating past actions from your current worth, you can free yourself from the weight of condemnation and focus your energy on healing, both emotionally and physically. Ultimately, this allows you to reclaim your own narrative and move forward with purpose and peace.
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus…
Romans 8:1
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
“And Boaz said to the elders and all the people, “You are witnesses this day that I have bought all that was Elimelech’s, and all that was Chilion’s and Mahlon’s, from the hand of Naomi. Moreover, Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, I have acquired as my wife, to perpetuate the name of the dead through his inheritance, that the name of the dead may not be cut off from among his brethren and from his position at the gate. You are witnesses this day.”
Ruth 4:9-10
I’ve been studying the book of Ruth for a few weeks now. If you haven’t visited it lately, it really is such a beautiful, engaging story. I encourage you to go back and read it. The thing that keeps stirring in my mind is the idea Boaz was a “kinsman-redeemer”. Now, I admit I don’t understand all the ins and outs of this custom but what I do know is he had the responsibility within his family lineage to step in and care for a deceased relative’s family. He would keep watch care and provide for that family. It’s quite a role, honestly. Quite a responsibility.
The interesting part of the story is who he redeemed. Yes, he redeemed Naomi. And consider all he redeemed her from – a life alone, poor, bitter, without a husband or children. In every way that matters, he redeemed her future. But he also redeemed Ruth, who wasn’t even from his tribe or culture – or faith, for that matter. But he was gracious and saw a picture so much bigger than even Ruth herself imagined. He redeemed her past and her present and secured her a beautiful future full of children and grandchildren. It really is something.
As beautiful as Boaz’s redemption was, it points to an even greater redemption. It’s also a foreshadowing of all Jesus would do for us. He is OUR kinsman-redeemer. The only one who could possibly save us from our past, stand with us in our present and give us a future worth living – Jesus did it all. In light of the story of Ruth, I’m so in awe (again) of Jesus. I pray this week you would have that sense of awe too, knowing that your kinsman-redeemer holds every part of your life in his hands and is planning extraordinary, beautiful things for you.
Caregivers Corner With
Four Things to Remember
Caregiver (verb): One who provides direct support for one who is in need of practical help, encouragement and love.
When you’re helping someone else, it’s easy to get so caught up in their needs that you neglect your own. But as the old saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. To be truly effective in helping others, you have to prioritize your own well-being.
Here are four things to remember to take care of yourself:
1. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish, It’s Necessary
Change your mindset. Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a vital part of caring for someone else. Think of it like a marathon – you can’t finish the race if you don’t refuel. Simple, consistent actions like getting enough sleep, eating well, and taking short breaks can prevent burnout and help you stay strong for the long haul.
2. Set and Enforce Clear Boundaries
Be realistic about how much you can give and communicate those limits. It’s okay to say no to certain requests or to take a break when you need it. By setting healthy boundaries, you protect your own emotional and physical health and prevent resentment. You’re teaching others how to treat you and ensuring your support is sustainable.
3. Ask for Help and Accept It
You are not meant to do this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Many people want to help but don’t know how. Be specific. Instead of saying, “I need help,” try saying, “Can you bring a meal on Tuesday?” or “Could you sit with them for an hour so I can go for a walk?” When help is offered, accept it gracefully.
4. Find Moments of Joy and Connection
It’s easy to get lost in the challenges, but it’s crucial to intentionally seek out joy and stay connected to things that matter to you. Whether it’s a hobby you love, a favorite song, or a few minutes of quiet reflection, these small moments recharge your emotional batteries. Remember who you are outside of this role and make time to connect with friends or family who can support you.
Worship Moment
with Joel Salabarria
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: Back To You (Spotify and Apple Music)
Band: Michael Mudoh
From: “Back To You” (2025)
Sometimes the path feels unclear, but grace was guiding you the whole time. Every detour, every delay and even the silence, was God gently leading you back to His heart. Not because you earned it, or had pity for you, but because He never stopped loving you.
Let’s get back to HIM!
What if the prayers I prayed
Weren’t really meant for me
Cause My heart can lead me astray
You know what I really need
And the times that You told me to wait
Cause there’s more for me to see
So now I see
Lord it was You
Leading me to You
And I know it’s true
There’s nothing I can do
With you
You always lead back to You
Please help us out…
Take the Survey
To Encourage (noun): to give support and hope to someone so that they will do or continue to do something.
As we begin our third year of sharing stories through the Black Sheep Messenger and The Healing Chronicle, we’d love to hear from you. Yes… even you! Thank you for being willing…
Your feedback will help us understand what content is most helpful and meaningful to you, and what you’d like to see more of in the future.
If you haven’t already done so, please take a few moments to answer our quick, six-question survey. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated and will help shape the future of our newsletters.
Link HERE.
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
Time for another of my favorite recipes, and with football season here, this is a snack favorite. Enjoy (guilt free) with MASA seed oil free Tortilla Chips!
Avocado Hummus Recipe
Ingredients
– 1 cup cooked chickpeas
– 1/2 avocado
–
1 clove of garlic
– 1 small bunch of cilantro
– 1/4 onion
– 1 Tbsp salt
– Juice of 1 lemon
– a pinch of cayenne pepper
– 1/2 Tbsp olive oil
Add all ingredients into a blender. Squeeze in the lemon juice, add salt and blend with water until you reach a creamy consistency.
The Serenity Prayer
To Pray (verb): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
While many are familiar with the Serenity Prayer, not many are familiar with its history. Over the years the prayer has been attributed to several great Christian thinkers including Thomas Aquinas, Augustine and Francis of Assis, but it was actually written less than a century ago in a cottage in western Massachusetts.
Reinhold Niebuhr was born the son of a German American pastor in Wright City, Missouri. He later became a pastor himself, serving a congregation in Detroit before moving to New York to teach at Union Theological Seminary, where he gained recognition as a theologian, activist and social critic. His brother, H. Robert Niebuhr, a well-known ethicist and theologian is best known as a founder of Christian Realism an approach to ethics grounded in the insight that human beings are called to strive toward their highest moral ideals, while recognizing our inability to fully achieve them. Richard writings deeply influenced his brother Reinhold who also had a poetic flair. And his infamous prayer beautifully captured the heart of Christian realism.
Piet's Ponderings
To Ponder (verb): to think about something carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion.
I believe that starting the day with intention is crucial for setting ourselves up for success.
And I will concede that a good cup of coffee certainly helps, however, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that it takes more than that to prepare for the day’s challenges.
In fact, I have become very particular about thoughts and practices that begin my day.
My current routine is built around a very meaningful set of rituals. And yes, it starts with a good cup of coffee, but also includes reading, praying, stretching, plunging, and walking.
Beyond these physical practices, I find it helpful (even strategic) to make a definitive personal commitment (early in the day) to stay alert to the leadings and promptings of the Spirit throughout the day.
Because my daily purpose must be about something more than just making check marks on a to-do list; it must be about being present, open, and responsive to what truly matters.
Helping people…
Cultivating character…
Engaging in redemptive action…
Gaining the applause of heaven…
Quick Reminder
We have room for two more people in the Building Resilience Course. We had our orientation class this past Sunday, but you can still be a part! You can find out more HERE.
If you are ready to sign up please send a note to my executive assistant Jennifer <jennifer@20threesix.com> and she will get you everything you need.
Also, don’t forget, newsletter recipients got $150 discount off their registration fee, and scholarships are available!
Support the work!
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects related to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
https://www.patreon.com/c/pietvanwaarde
Experiencing a cancer diagnosis is obviously a profound personal setback, and the added weight of self-blame can make it feel even heavier. While it’s natural to reflect on past choices and wonder if you have contributed to our own illness, getting stuck in a cycle of self-condemnation is a separate matter altogether. It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings of guilt and remorse without letting them define you or impede your journey toward healing. This involves taking a thoughtful and compassionate approach to your past.
The first step in processing this guilt is to separate accountability from condemnation. It’s helpful to own the reality that some past behaviors may have been unhealthy, but this is an entirely different concept from believing you deserve this illness. You can acknowledge, for example, that a long-term smoking habit increased your risk of lung cancer without believing you are a bad person or that this is a form of punishment. True ownership means recognizing the consequences of past actions and committing to better choices moving forward. This is a path of learning and growth, not a cycle of shame.
The goal – and this is really important – is to shift your focus from “Why was I so foolish?” to “What can I do now?”
Next, it is vital to learn and practice self-compassion and forgiveness. Think of it this way: You wouldn’t speak to a friend with a similar diagnosis in a harsh and condemning way; instead you would offer them kindness and empathy. You must extend that same grace to yourself. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing past mistakes; it’s about releasing yourself from the burden of carrying them. You are a person who made certain choices – and yes, maybe some were unwise and irresponsible – but your diagnosis is not meant to define your worth. I am speaking to you as one who has had to work through these very same feelings.
I have resumed my journaling practice to process and release feelings of guilt. I also rely on spiritual friends and counselors for support, as they serve as vital extensions of grace and peace. When I feel stuck, they provide valuable insight and strength, helping me navigate my journey with greater clarity and compassion.
In summary, processing the guilt associated with a cancer diagnosis is a journey of intentional release and radical self-compassion. The key is to avoid the trap of self-blame by embracing accountability and then choosing to extend grace to yourself. By separating past actions from your current worth, you can free yourself from the weight of condemnation and focus your energy on healing, both emotionally and physically. Ultimately, this allows you to reclaim your own narrative and move forward with purpose and peace.
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus…
Romans 8:1
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
“And Boaz said to the elders and all the people, “You are witnesses this day that I have bought all that was Elimelech’s, and all that was Chilion’s and Mahlon’s, from the hand of Naomi. Moreover, Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, I have acquired as my wife, to perpetuate the name of the dead through his inheritance, that the name of the dead may not be cut off from among his brethren and from his position at the gate. You are witnesses this day.”
Ruth 4:9-10
I’ve been studying the book of Ruth for a few weeks now. If you haven’t visited it lately, it really is such a beautiful, engaging story. I encourage you to go back and read it. The thing that keeps stirring in my mind is the idea Boaz was a “kinsman-redeemer”. Now, I admit I don’t understand all the ins and outs of this custom but what I do know is he had the responsibility within his family lineage to step in and care for a deceased relative’s family. He would keep watch care and provide for that family. It’s quite a role, honestly. Quite a responsibility.
The interesting part of the story is who he redeemed. Yes, he redeemed Naomi. And consider all he redeemed her from – a life alone, poor, bitter, without a husband or children. In every way that matters, he redeemed her future. But he also redeemed Ruth, who wasn’t even from his tribe or culture – or faith, for that matter. But he was gracious and saw a picture so much bigger than even Ruth herself imagined. He redeemed her past and her present and secured her a beautiful future full of children and grandchildren. It really is something.
As beautiful as Boaz’s redemption was, it points to an even greater redemption. It’s also a foreshadowing of all Jesus would do for us. He is OUR kinsman-redeemer. The only one who could possibly save us from our past, stand with us in our present and give us a future worth living – Jesus did it all. In light of the story of Ruth, I’m so in awe (again) of Jesus. I pray this week you would have that sense of awe too, knowing that your kinsman-redeemer holds every part of your life in his hands and is planning extraordinary, beautiful things for you.
Caregivers Corner With
Four Things to Remember
Caregiver (verb): One who provides direct support for one who is in need of practical help, encouragement and love.
When you’re helping someone else, it’s easy to get so caught up in their needs that you neglect your own. But as the old saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. To be truly effective in helping others, you have to prioritize your own well-being.
Here are four things to remember to take care of yourself:
1. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish, It’s Necessary
Change your mindset. Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a vital part of caring for someone else. Think of it like a marathon – you can’t finish the race if you don’t refuel. Simple, consistent actions like getting enough sleep, eating well, and taking short breaks can prevent burnout and help you stay strong for the long haul.
2. Set and Enforce Clear Boundaries
Be realistic about how much you can give and communicate those limits. It’s okay to say no to certain requests or to take a break when you need it. By setting healthy boundaries, you protect your own emotional and physical health and prevent resentment. You’re teaching others how to treat you and ensuring your support is sustainable.
3. Ask for Help and Accept It
You are not meant to do this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Many people want to help but don’t know how. Be specific. Instead of saying, “I need help,” try saying, “Can you bring a meal on Tuesday?” or “Could you sit with them for an hour so I can go for a walk?” When help is offered, accept it gracefully.
4. Find Moments of Joy and Connection
It’s easy to get lost in the challenges, but it’s crucial to intentionally seek out joy and stay connected to things that matter to you. Whether it’s a hobby you love, a favorite song, or a few minutes of quiet reflection, these small moments recharge your emotional batteries. Remember who you are outside of this role and make time to connect with friends or family who can support you.
Worship Moment
with Joel Salabarria
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: Back To You (Spotify and Apple Music)
Band: Michael Mudoh
From: “Back To You” (2025)
Sometimes the path feels unclear, but grace was guiding you the whole time. Every detour, every delay and even the silence, was God gently leading you back to His heart. Not because you earned it, or had pity for you, but because He never stopped loving you.
Let’s get back to HIM!
What if the prayers I prayed
Weren’t really meant for me
Cause My heart can lead me astray
You know what I really need
And the times that You told me to wait
Cause there’s more for me to see
So now I see
Lord it was You
Leading me to You
And I know it’s true
There’s nothing I can do
With you
You always lead back to You
Please help us out…
Take the Survey
To Encourage (noun): to give support and hope to someone so that they will do or continue to do something.
As we begin our third year of sharing stories through the Black Sheep Messenger and The Healing Chronicle, we’d love to hear from you. Yes… even you! Thank you for being willing…
Your feedback will help us understand what content is most helpful and meaningful to you, and what you’d like to see more of in the future.
If you haven’t already done so, please take a few moments to answer our quick, six-question survey. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated and will help shape the future of our newsletters.
Link HERE.
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
Time for another of my favorite recipes, and with football season here, this is a snack favorite. Enjoy (guilt free) with MASA seed oil free Tortilla Chips!
Avocado Hummus Recipe
Ingredients
– 1 cup cooked chickpeas
– 1/2 avocado
– 1 clove of garlic
– 1 small bunch of cilantro
– 1/4 onion
– 1 Tbsp salt
– Juice of 1 lemon
– a pinch of cayenne pepper
– 1/2 Tbsp olive oil
Add all ingredients into a blender. Squeeze in the lemon juice, add salt and blend with water until you reach a creamy consistency.
The Serenity Prayer
To Pray (verb): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
While many are familiar with the Serenity Prayer, not many are familiar with its history. Over the years the prayer has been attributed to several great Christian thinkers including Thomas Aquinas, Augustine and Francis of Assis, but it was actually written less than a century ago in a cottage in western Massachusetts.
Reinhold Niebuhr was born the son of a German American pastor in Wright City, Missouri. He later became a pastor himself, serving a congregation in Detroit before moving to New York to teach at Union Theological Seminary, where he gained recognition as a theologian, activist and social critic. His brother, H. Robert Niebuhr, a well-known ethicist and theologian is best known as a founder of Christian Realism an approach to ethics grounded in the insight that human beings are called to strive toward their highest moral ideals, while recognizing our inability to fully achieve them. Richard writings deeply influenced his brother Reinhold who also had a poetic flair. And his infamous prayer beautifully captured the heart of Christian realism.
Piet's Ponderings
To Ponder (verb): to think about something carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion.
I believe that starting the day with intention is crucial for setting ourselves up for success.
And I will concede that a good cup of coffee certainly helps, however, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that it takes more than that to prepare for the day’s challenges.
In fact, I have become very particular about thoughts and practices that begin my day.
My current routine is built around a very meaningful set of rituals. And yes, it starts with a good cup of coffee, but also includes reading, praying, stretching, plunging, and walking.
Beyond these physical practices, I find it helpful (even strategic) to make a definitive personal commitment (early in the day) to stay alert to the leadings and promptings of the Spirit throughout the day.
Because my daily purpose must be about something more than just making check marks on a to-do list; it must be about being present, open, and responsive to what truly matters.
Helping people…
Cultivating character…
Engaging in redemptive action…
Gaining the applause of heaven…
Quick Reminder
We have room for two more people in the Building Resilience Course. We had our orientation class this past Sunday, but you can still be a part! You can find out more HERE.
If you are ready to sign up please send a note to my executive assistant Jennifer <jennifer@20threesix.com> and she will get you everything you need.
Also, don’t forget, newsletter recipients got $150 discount off their registration fee, and scholarships are available!
Support the work!
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects related to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
https://www.patreon.com/c/pietvanwaarde
