Reminding Ourselves...
The Body/Soul Connection
My recent week-long visit with my mom in Colorado was such a gift. It was filled with stunning landscapes and even more meaningful conversations. I’m so grateful for her enduring mobility and sharp mind. During a three-hour drive back/forth to 11 Mile Canyon, I asked her, “Mom, having lived such a rich life – surviving a World War, enduring a POW camp, immigrating to another country, raising five active (and very different) kids, and burying your youngest son way too soon – you’re a true survivor and overcomer. What are your essential keys to living a ‘good’ life, especially through hardships and heartaches of life and faith?”
She thought for a moment, and said, “That is a very deep question, not sure I can answer in the spur of the moment, but I can share a few spontaneous thoughts on the topic. Her wisdom poured out, she touched on faith, love, grace, and faithfulness. I took notes. Her insights on forgiveness resonated most deeply. While we, as believers, are familiar with the notion of receiving and extending God’s grace, my mom highlighted a less-discussed, yet crucial aspect: self-forgiveness. We often extend far more grace to others than we do to ourselves, often relentlessly replaying “I should have…” scenarios, fostering shame and self-condemnation.
I share that story here, because as cancer warriors, the body/spirit connection to healing is undeniable; our physical well-being is impacted by our soul’s state. Emotional baggage impedes healing. Learning to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes and perceived failings, then, becomes an all-important step toward true healing and wholeness. To be clear, this isn’t about making excuses or minimizing past actions. It’s about confronting our history honestly, taking responsibility, and then fully embracing the grace God has already provided through Christ’s completed work on the cross.
In my work as a pastor, I have seen time and again, that this is one of those ideas we can ‘get’ theoretically (and maybe even theologically), but experiencing the benefits of it personally and knowing how to get there, may remain a mystery. So, let me share a couple of ideas that I have been learning on this front:
- Honestly Confess and Own Your Part (to God):
- Action: Take time in prayer to specifically name and acknowledge the actions, inactions, or patterns you regret or feel shame over. Again, this isn’t about excusing them, but it’s about bringing them fully into the light before God. Be honest about your feelings of guilt, regret, or “should haves.” This activity is the personal outworking of the Biblical principle of confession, not to inform God (He already knows), but to align our hearts with truth and release the burden.
- Why: True self-forgiveness isn’t bypassing responsibility. It begins with clear-eyed honesty about what happened and our role in it. This prevents sweeping things under the rug and lays the foundation for genuine healing. In my own journey I have had to include things like my lack of discipline with health/fitness, cigar-smoking, and poor work/rest routines.
- Actively Receive God’s Forgiveness for Yourself (Through Christ):
- Action: After confession, consciously remind yourself of the finished work of Christ on the cross. His sacrifice was a complete and sufficient payment for all sins – past, present, and future, including those you are struggling to forgive yourself for. Verbally declare God’s forgiveness over yourself, based on His promises in scripture (1 John 1:9).
- Why: The greatest barrier to self-forgiveness is often a misunderstanding or unbelief in the completeness of God’s forgiveness. It is not about earning it; it is a gift already given. Accepting this truth is foundational to releasing self-condemnation.
- Release Self-Condemnation and Embrace Your Identity in Christ:
- Action: This is an ongoing practice. When thoughts of “I should have been better” or “I messed up” come to mind, I have to consciously choose to reject the accompanying shame and condemnation. Right alongside that I must replace those thoughts with affirmations of God’s grace and my identity as a forgiven, beloved child of God. For me it also involves reminding myself that God redeems it all – even the parts I got wrong. It is part of the miracle of walking with Him – in and through it all.
- Why: God’s forgiveness frees us from condemnation (Romans 8:1). Holding onto self-condemnation after God has forgiven you is, in a way, suggests I know better than God – refusing to accept the grace He has freely made available. Embracing our new identity in Christ is what allows us to move forward in our healing, recognizing that our worth is not based on our performance, but on His love.
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
Genesis 50:20
The world doesn’t make sense sometimes. It’s loud, it’s chaotic, it’s overstimulating. I sometimes find myself wondering where God is in all of it. And that is never truer than it is in the circumstances of our own lives sometimes. Our family has been navigating a tough situation for the last ten years that I still don’t fully understand. I find myself caught between two perspectives:
- That God orchestrated this for the salvation of many.
- That it’s a truly terrible situation but God will and does turn all things for good.
Neither option makes it any easier to understand. But they both end up in the same place. And maybe, when looked at from that angle, both perspectives are accurate. What the enemy intended for harm, God intended for good. Why? Because if we surrender in those hard moments, people are drawn closer to God just in watching us struggle with hope.
It’s a tough pill to swallow to consider that our own trials may have less to do with us than they do with those God is seeking to save. But that is the ultimate truth. Our lives are but a small part of His bigger story – redemption of a world that’s lost.
Thinking of it that way brings me comfort. The world doesn’t make sense. It’s lost, but God is on the move, bringing His story to pass because of His great love for the world. I pray this week that brings you comfort as well.
Caregivers Corner With
Kathi Peters
Caregiver (verb): One who provides direct support for one who is in need of practical help, encouragement and love.
“I could go on and on, but my heart is broken and lonely. It’s so hard to suffer silently — it’s isolating.”
A friend said those words to me recently, and my heart ached for her.
There are days when I want to share my fears and concerns about this journey with David. But I hold back, thinking, He’s got enough on his plate. If I share, I tell myself, he’ll have to carry not just his own fears, but mine too.
The truth is, our fears and concerns as caregivers are real. Pretending they don’t matter isn’t helpful — and stuffing them down doesn’t make them disappear. In fact, we all know that bottled-up emotions have a way of bursting out eventually… and it’s rarely pretty when they do.
Sometimes the hardest part is not having a safe space to be honest. Maybe you’ve tried to share your heart with your loved one, only to feel misunderstood, dismissed, or shut down. And so, you learn to keep quiet. You suffer in silence.
For me, laying those fears and concerns at Jesus’ feet has been my lifeline. It feels right and good — because He’s always a safe place. He’ll never tell me not to feel what I feel. Yes, He says, “Fear not,” but I know He’s okay with me saying, “I’m afraid.” Lord, I believe — help my unbelief. After all, He created me. He knows my frame.
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
But what about when you need to talk to someone with skin on?
Sometimes we hesitate, thinking, “I don’t want to burden anyone. Everyone has their own stuff.” But maybe — just maybe — there’s someone out there whose gift is encouragement. Someone who would actually be filled themselves by filling your cup. Maybe it’s that rare person who, after asking how your loved one is doing, adds, “And how are you doing?” And actually means it.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2
So, here’s my encouragement to you: first, take those fears to Jesus. He will always listen, and He promises to restore your soul.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
But if some days that still doesn’t feel like enough — pick up the phone. Call that friend.
You don’t have to suffer silently.
Worship Moment
Glenn Kaiser Band
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: Since I Laid My Burdens Down (Spotify and Apple Music)
Band: Glenn Kaiser Band
From: “Bound For Glory” (2006)
Glenn Kaiser is a legendary figure in Christian rock. As the frontman of the pioneering Christian rock band Resurrection Band (Rez Band), he has decades of experience. His new project with the Glenn Kaiser Band continues to deliver authentic, soulful blues with a strong spiritual message. I find Kaiser’s music to be timeless in this genre. His work is deeply rooted in traditional blues but often incorporates rock energy, so, if you like that old “rock/blues” vibe, you might want to add this group to your listening library. I especially like his take on this familiar Christian classic, Since I Laid My Burdens Down:
Glory, Gory!
Halleluljah
Since I laid my burdens down
Glory, Glory
Hallelujah!
Since I Laid my burdens down
I’m feel better, so much better
Since I Laid, Laid my burdens down
I’m feel better, so much better!
Since I Laid my burdens down
The cross before me, and the world behind me
Since I laid my burdens down
The cross before me, and the world behind me
Since I laid my burdens down
Poetic Encouragement:
by Becky Hemsley
To Encourage (noun): to give support and hope to someone so that they will do or continue to do something.
“I’m kind.”
Are you really?
“I’m compassionate.”
Are you truly?
“I’m gentle.”
Are you actually?
Are you truly all those things with everyone that matters in your life?
Now, I’m sure you’ll say, “Yes!”
But are you truly all those things with everyone that matters in your life,
including yourself?
Do you speak kindly to yourself?
Do you treat yourself with compassion?
Are you gentle with yourself when life is tough?
Because I know you’re all those things to everyone else.
You shower them with kindness,
grant them compassion
and you recognize when they need you to be gentle.
But you need those things too.
From yourself as much as any one else.
Because I know you might have forgotten this,
but they’re not the only ones that matter.
You matter too.
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
Over the summer, I thought it might be helpful/meaningful to share a few healthy recipes that are both tasty and healthy – this is a great one for a meal on a budget!
Chicken Philly Cheesesteak Bowls
1 lb ground chicken
1 large green bell pepper, sliced
1 large red bell pepper, sliced
1 onion, sliced
8 oz sliced mushrooms
2 T olive oil, divided
1 tsp salt, divided
2 tsp onion powder, divided
1/2 tsp pepper
4 cloves minced garlic, divided
2T coconut aminos
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 cup uncooked white rice
1 cup shredded cheese (fav is provolone/mozzarella combo)
- Cook rice according to package directions. The goal is to have about 4 cups.
- Heat 1T olive oil in large skillet over medium heat.
- Add ground chicken, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp pepper, 1 tsp onion powder, and 2 gloves minced garlic. Saute until cooked through 5-7 minutes. Remove and set aside.
- In same pan, add remaining 1T olive oil, peppers, onions and mushrooms along with the remaining spices and 2T coconut aminos. Saute 7-9 minutes until softened.
- Add chicken back in and stir.
- Divide cooked rice between 4 meal prep containers and top with the meat and veggie mixture.
- Sprinkle 1/4 cup cheese on top. Store away in the fridge to reheat throughout the week. Enjoy!
Enjoy!
A Prayer of Grace For Myself
by Susannah DB
To Pray (verb): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)
God of Goodness and Grace, You give us chances and opportunities and do overs and try agains and so many times to say whoops! You pick us up! You dust us off and you tell us to give it another go! Why is it so hard for us to extend that same grace to ourselves? Why is the “must do” list never ending? Why do I feel like I must keep working even though there is time off that could be taken? How can I accept grace for myself? How can I let go before everything is perfect and before everything is done? Help me, Loving God. Help me to see that I deserve grace. Remind me that I am your beloved child who is created in your own image. And when I treat others in that manner, it is necessary for me to treat myself with the same kindness. You know me God, and I will be back to pray this prayer again soon. Until then let your grace and mercy continue to rain down on us all. Amen.
Piet's Ponderings
To Ponder (verb): to think about something carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion.
“Look Up”
When our vision narrows, and the weight of what feels crushing lays heavy on our hearts, let courage be the wind that lifts our chin.
For when we raise our gaze, even in spirit, to a higher place, the landscape of our challenges changes.
New vigor awakens…
New purpose takes root…
We discover, through God’s abiding strength…
A vibrant new rhythm of life and service.
So, even in our weakness may we find the strength to look up…
It changes everything!
My Return Visit To May
As I mentioned in last week’s newsletter, I’m making a return visit to Mayo Clinic this week (Thursday and Friday). They’ll be conducting a series of tests to further investigate the “suspicious spot” they found on my bladder wall this past May. We are praying that it is something other than the return of cancerous tumors.
In preparation, I’ve found myself praying in the spirit of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego,
“O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”
Daniel 3:16-18
I am confident that God is actively working His good in my body, and I expect to hear a positive report. But even if the outcome isn’t what I hope for, I am determined not to waver in my belief that God is redeeming this entire scenario for His ultimate good – just as He always does.
As you think of it, please join me in this prayer.
Support the work!
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects related to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
https://www.patreon.com/c/pietvanwaarde
