On the Journey With...
Karen Hopkins
Karen and her husband Mike are friends who go back to my college ministry days. Sadly, Karen has developed breast cancer and has battled it (as most warriors do) with a fair amount of grit and faith. I especially appreciate her candor and her willingness to live with the complex tension of a God who cares deeply about our well-being and the reality of living in a fallen broken world.
I’m generally doing well, though fatigue has been more prevalent lately, particularly in the afternoons and early evenings, often leaving me unable to do much beyond resting. This is a known side effect of the Trodelvy. My friend Fawn and I joked yesterday that being past middle age doesn’t help with the energy levels either!
My infusion appointments are usually smooth, though I typically feel a bit unwell until the following day. Some Fridays, I receive a white blood cell stimulating injection, which occasionally causes bone pain in my lower back (pelvis) and, strangely, at the base of my skull, feeling like a headache. Thankfully, I’m feeling better now from last Friday’s shot and won’t need another for a few weeks.
This past Friday’s CT scan brought news of stability – the breast cancer spots in my lungs and near my liver haven’t shrunk or multiplied, but thankfully, no new ones have appeared either. So, that’s a definite positive. Yesterday, my oncologist suggested a slight increase in my Trodelvy infusion dose over the next few weeks, hoping I’ll tolerate it and that it might do more than just maintain the status quo. Our hope is to see those spots decrease and ultimately disappear – and until then I hold fast to the notion that He is always with us (regardless)!
And in a very real way that in itself, is enough.
After much wrestling, I’ve come to believe that as believers in Christ, covered by His armor and faithful shield, nothing touches us without first passing through Him. In a way, it is all from Him. This understanding brings immense peace, knowing He is in control, permitting, and perhaps even ordaining our experiences for our ultimate good and to shape us into Christ’s likeness. Romans 8:28-29 resonates deeply with me, especially the crucial inclusion of verse 29 when we quote verse 28.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
While I absolutely believe in God’s power to heal physically, I also recognize that sometimes His healing takes the form of walking alongside us, bringing inner transformation – a profound healing in itself. I’ve come to see cancer as an unexpected and unwanted gift, yet one I’m deeply grateful for because of all God has done in and through it.
I’ll close with one of my favorite poems, which aligns beautifully with the picture:
“Ah yes, it will break and crush my life;
I cannot bear this constant strain of endless, aggravating cares;
They are too great for such as I.”
So thus my heart consoled itself, “Enjoying misery,” when lo
A “still small voice” distinctly said, “Twas sent to lift you – not to crush.”
I saw at once my great mistake.
My place was not beneath the load
But on the top!
God meant it not that I should carry it. He sent It here to carry me.
Full well He knew my incapacity
Before the plan was made. He saw a child of His
…a puny twig
…He placed it where it HAD to grow –
OR die. To lie and cringe beneath one's load means death,
But life and power await all those who dare to rise above.
Our burdens are our wings; on them we soar to higher realms of grace;
Without them we must ever roam
On plains of undeveloped faith,
(For faith grows but by exercise in circumstance impossible).
O paradox of Heaven.
The load we think will crush was sent to lift us
Up to God!
~by Mary Butterfield
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
What does the King desire?
This has been the question on my mind this week. No, not that king. The one True King. What does He desire in my life? This past week was a difficult one for my family, marking the 9th anniversary of a day that forever changed us all. It’s a memory I’d rather not have; a moment I wish was not part of my story. But here we are, whether we want to be or not, living in the wake of that moment.
And the question I find myself asking this year is “What does the King desire?” It’s been 9 long years of learning and shifting and maybe most of all…yielding. Yielding to a situation I can’t control or change. I can only respond to it, learn from it and try to grow in a way that allows something good to come out of the awful.
Of course, I’ve done my fair share of wrestling too. I’ve wrestled with God, with others, with the truth and with the reality of this life. I think it’s only human. I genuinely believe that God understands and invites us into the wrestle – to work out the emotions and implications of the circumstances of our lives. But at the end of the day, yielding must happen or we might just stay stuck in that wrestling space a little too long.
Nine years down the road, I still long for justice in our situation. I long for answers I know won’t come. I long for restoration at the deepest level of my soul. But I yield instead to the question, “What does the King desire?” He is working all things for good, for His kingdom purposes. Only He can turn sorrow into joy and mourning into dancing. He is using and will continue to use my story for something so profound, only He can see it coming.
My prayer for you this week is the same. May you wrestle well but ultimately yield to the King. He will use your story in a way you can’t imagine, if you’ll let Him. May you have the hope this week to trust Him enough to see how loved you truly are and to know His desire is what is truly best for the kingdom and for you.
Caregivers Corner with
Lori Smith
To Support (noun): to provide assistance that enables one to function or act.
When you think of taking a break, what comes to mind? For me, I think of a week at the beach, doing very little other than reading, sleeping, eating, and soaking up the sun. I think of vacation and fun and getting out of my ordinary life. For many walking through cancer that just isn’t an option. For some it is, and it’s great if you can take a trip somewhere to get away from it all.
It wasn’t an option for us.
My husband’s doctors wouldn’t let him out of their sight. And, when we did get a little bit of a break, he was still too immunocompromised to go anywhere. Let’s just say I dealt with a lot of escapism during that time. We were never big travelers in the first place, but after going through the lockdowns during the pandemic, we were definitely ready for some time away as a family. It just wasn’t in the cards for us because cancer came right on the heels of the pandemic.
If a vacation or a true getaway isn’t an option for you and your person, there are still things you can do within the treatment and cancer journey to give yourself a break. Though it doesn’t seem like much, it will add up and make a difference over time. For example, we would go get food from a favorite restaurant and watch a movie on the iPad in his hospital room. That was our “date night,” and the nurses would comment about how cute we were. When we were staying in Houston for treatments, we would first stop for a nice dinner out when we got into town. We stayed at a nicer hotel with a rooftop lounge area just for fun, and we would go have brunch or go shopping before we left to go home as long as he felt well. One of our last shopping trips together was during this time, and I’m so glad we did it. It remains a sweet memory for me now.
I personally would stay in the hotel connected to the hospital for one or two nights during his chemo cycles and order room service breakfast just to get a chance to sip my coffee and read my Bible in my introverted quiet. These things were never as good as a true vacation, but they made a huge difference in my mental wellbeing as a caregiver. It also helped us stay connected as a couple. With so many factors out of our control, we could still make time for each other in some small, special way.
How do you take a break from your role as caregiver? I encourage you to find ways to spend time with your person that isn’t just you as caregiver and him or her as the patient. Find ways to connect, take a break, and have some fun within this season. You’ll be so glad you did.
Worship Moment
with Joel Salabarria
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: The Blood (Spotify, YouTube Music and Apple Music)
Band: Bethel Music (Mitch Wong, Jenn Johnson)
From: Simple (2022)
I had the pleasure of leading this song in a worship context recently!
To me it is a powerful reminder that no matter how far we’ve fallen or how broken we feel, the blood of Jesus still speaks—of mercy, healing, and redemption. It reaches into our darkest places and declares we are forgiven, loved, and made whole. This song is not just good-sounding music—it’s a declaration of victory. Let it wash over you and remind you: His blood was enough, and it still has power today.
Oh, everything changed, it’s getting harder to recognize
The person I was before I encountered Christ
I don’t walk like I used to
I don’t talk like I used to
I’ve been washed from the inside
I’ve been washed from the inside
Hallelujah, hallelujah
I know it was the blood
Could have only been the blood
Hallelujah, hallelujah
I know it was the blood
Could have only been the blood
Uh, oh
I cannot explain, but nothing’s more real than this
In the presence of God, oh, what my heart experienced
When my shame hit the wayside
And my sin met the Most High
I’ve been washed from the inside
I’ve been washed from the inside
Poetic Encouragement On the Heels of
Mother's Day
To Encourage (noun): to give support and hope to someone so that they will do or continue to do something.
For those mothers who are doing their best to be faithful to their families, even in the light of their own suffering – we bless you!
A Mother’s Day Offering
For mothers bearing burdens deep,
Where joy struggles hard to keep,
Touched by illness, shadowed days,
We see your strength in quiet ways.
Each gentle touch, each loving plea,
A mother’s love, eternally.
Though laughter feels a distant art,
We hold you close within our heart.
Your love still shines, a steady light,
Through weary days and darkest night.
Though strength may fade, your spirit’s bright,
A mother’s love, a guiding light.
So rest today, and know you’re seen,
A warrior mother, strong and keen.
May peace and comfort gently stay,
And bless you on this Mother’s Day.
For healing grace, for strength anew,
Our loving thoughts go out to you.
May love surround you, soft and true,
Dear mother, we are thinking of you.
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
Are you familiar with starch retrogradation? This one simple hack could change how your body handles carbs forever. Here’s the simple secret: heat it and cool it.
🍚Cook rice, chill it overnight in the fridge, then reheat it. The glycemic index drops from 78 to 54.
🥶Freeze bread, then toast it, and you’ll reduce its glycemic index by up to 39%.
🥔Cook, cool, and reheat potatoes to slash their glycemic index by 30–40%.
🍝For pasta, chilling and reheating can cut its glycemic index in half.
But why does this happen?
🔥When you heat and cool carbs, their starches transform into resistant starches, through a process called starch retrogradation.
🍞This will slow carbohydrate digestion and cause a slower release of sugar into your bloodstream.
😁This hack isn’t just about blood sugar—it’s beneficial for your thyroid, keeping inflammation at bay and for your adrenal glands.
And you knew this was coming…try to avoid using microwaves. They deplete nutrients and cause the formation of potential cancer-causing substances and free radicals in the food.
Piet's Ponderings
To Ponder (verb): to think about something carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion
I’m usually wary of rigid either/or thinking.
Words and actions must be intertwined. For me, clarity on what needs to be done often becomes obvious only when I work hard at articulating my intentions. However, those words are meaningless without action. Follow-through is essential for any real change.
What’s that old adage? “The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” Yeah, that rings true.
So in the end, it’s the synergistic effect of words that inspire action and the action itself that effectively propels us forward.
A Healing Prayer
For Those Facing the Return of Cancer
To Pray (verb): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer ad petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God )Philippians 4:6)
Lately, too many dear friends have faced the devastating return of cancer. I came across this beautiful prayer and wanted to share it with anyone who knows someone in a similar battle.
Heavenly Father,
In this moment of heavy hearts, we lift up those who have just received news of cancer’s return. The initial battle, the treatments endured, the hope for remission – all now shadowed by this unwelcome recurrence. Lord, we acknowledge the wave of emotions that washes over them: the fear, the disappointment, the weariness, and perhaps even anger.
We ask for Your immediate and profound comfort to enfold them. Be their steady presence in the midst of uncertainty, their calm in the storm of anxiety. Grant them a deep sense of Your nearness, a knowing that they are not alone in this journey.
Pour out Your healing grace, Father. We believe in Your power to heal, to restore, and to bring wholeness. We ask for Your divine intervention in their bodies, that this resurgence of illness would be met with Your mighty hand. Guide their doctors and caregivers, grant them wisdom in choosing the right path forward, and strengthen their bodies to respond to treatment.
For those who feel their spirits falter, we pray for an infusion of Your hope and courage. Remind them of Your unwavering love and faithfulness. Surround them with a supportive community of family and friends who can offer practical help and unwavering encouragement.
Grant them peace that surpasses understanding, a peace that anchors their souls amidst the turmoil. Help them to find moments of respite, moments of joy, and moments of connection, even in the face of this challenge.
We also pray for their loved ones, who share in this burden of worry and concern. Strengthen them, Lord, and grant them the wisdom and compassion to support those they care for.
May Your light shine into the darkness of this news, bringing hope and healing. May Your presence be their constant companion, and may they know, deep in their hearts, that You are with them, now and always.
In the loving and powerful name of Jesus we pray.
Support the work!
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects related to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
https://www.patreon.com/c/pietvanwaarde
