The Gift of Repentance...
God’s servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil’s trap…
(The Message) II Timothy 2:26
The news of a cancer diagnosis delivers a devastating double blow. First, there’s the immediate, life-altering weight of the news itself, the stark realization that the future you envisioned has been irreversibly changed. But then, often lurking just beneath the initial shock, comes a second, equally significant blow: the sobering awareness of one’s own potential contribution to the disease.
This self-reflection can quickly spiral into unending self-flagellation alternating between shame and regret. It is beyond uncomfortable to do that a painful inventory of reviewing past choices and habits that now seem to have taken a heartbreaking turn for the worse. The “what ifs” and “if onlys” can become relentless tormentors, adding a layer of emotional anguish to an already overwhelming physical battle.
Yet, within this very point of stark self-confrontation, (and agonizing self-awareness), there lies the unexpected potential for a profound turning point. It’s in facing our vulnerabilities and acknowledging our own part in the narrative, however difficult, that the possibility of genuine change begins to reveal itself. This might be why scripture, in its wisdom, refers to repentance as a ‘gift’ – a seemingly counterintuitive description for an act that often involves pain and humility.
However, it is precisely in acknowledging our shortcomings, in confronting the areas where we may have fallen short in caring for ourselves, that we unlock a pathway towards liberation. This act of honest self-assessment, fueled by a desire for change, can free us from the paralysis of regret and set us on a different, and ultimately healthier, trajectory – both physically and emotionally.
I have experienced this transformative power firsthand. Confronting my own role in past choices has been challenging, yet it has also been profoundly freeing, opening the door to healthier habits and a deeper appreciation for the preciousness of life.
This journey has made me all the more grateful for the transformative grace that is so freely extended to us. It’s a grace that meets us not in perfection, but in our willingness to acknowledge our need for change and to embrace the opportunity for a new beginning. It’s a reminder that even in the face of serious illness, the power of self-awareness and the gift of repentance can be catalysts for positive change, offering a renewed sense of purpose and a deeper reliance on the grace that continues to sustain us.
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1
I’m going to be honest. The month of April has felt like a whirlwind. I know how I spent it but also…where did the time go? Looking back on the month, every memory feels like those pictures you accidentally take when either you were moving or your subject was. They have a distinct blur around the edges. Even now, looking back on the moments, they feel “in motion” to me.
Time is strange like that. We spend a year planning for a vacation only to have it fly by in the blink of an eye while something we have been dreading seems to drag on and on.
I think about this scripture in Ecclesiastes and wonder…how does God feel about time? He who lives in every moment all at once. It makes me grateful that this verse exists. I sometimes need to know there is a time for everything. April was extraordinarily busy for me. May will need to be a month at a slower pace. And it’s all okay, because there is a season for everything and every activity under heaven.
Maybe you’ve been in a season of grief, or a season of quiet or a season of building. This verse is a careful reminder that life is built season by season, each season having it’s own place in the timeline of our lives, that will eventually give way to another season different from the last. And it all fits somehow in God’s perfect plan for our unperfect lives. How? It’s a mystery. And that too is comforting. God knows things I cannot know but I trust Him to hold every season of my life. This week I pray the same for you. May you trust God in the ebb and flow of the seasons of your life and may you find moments of both fullness and rest along the way.
Caregivers Corner with
Lori Smith
To Support (noun): to provide assistance that enables one to function or act.
Talking to other people about your journey and role as caregiver can be especially challenging. Helping well-meaning people truly understand what you’re going through is virtually impossible, and you can feel guilty for talking about yourself when you are not the one with cancer.
The question, “How are you?” can be so exhausting!
At the same time, when the focus is only on the person with cancer, it can make caregivers feel even more isolated. It can be an unhealthy cycle of downplaying your own thoughts and feelings in order to keep the focus on the fight with cancer.
In my own journey, I was unexpectedly blessed to reconnect with a friend from high school whose husband was going through a very similar journey. God placed us in the same city, at the same hospital, at the same time during one of the hardest parts of both our journeys. We were both staying at the hospital with our husbands for extended periods of time, we both had kids in school who were missing us, and we both needed the chance to meet up for coffee just to take a break. It was such a relief to be able to talk freely from one caregiver to another. I was incredibly grateful for the “one.” And, it made me realize that close support doesn’t need to come from everyone. It can come from just one and be more than enough.
Who is your one?
If you don’t feel you have that person yet, pray and ask God to send you someone to connect with on a deeper level. He will send the right person at the right time. I didn’t connect with my friend until closer to the end of our cancer fight, but it was the perfect time for me. She was a breath of fresh air in a seemingly never-ending nightmare.
If you do have a support person, reach out to them this week and schedule a phone call, a coffee date, or even just a text thread. It’s incredibly important to have your voice heard in this journey. I bet your person really wants that for you too.
Worship Moment
with Joel Salabarria
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: In Jesus Name (Spotify, YouTube Music and Apple Music)
Band: Israel Houghton
From: Alive in Asia (2015)
I love this song so much because of the declaration of the bridge!
God is fighting for us
Pushing back the darkness
Lighting up the kingdom
That can not be shaken
In the name of Jesus
Enemy’s defeated
And we will shout it
Shout it out”
I will live, I will not die
The resurrection power of Christ
Alive in me and I am free in Jesus’ name
For me it’s a quick reminder that no matter what the challenge or hurdle I am working thru in this moment or season, I am fully aware and confident that God is fighting for me. Since I know God is fighting for me and I know that greater is HE that is in me than he that is in the world, there’s no need to worry. Instead, I will choose to shout of HIS victory in Jesus name!
Poetic Encouragement with
Julie Clarke
To Encourage (noun): to give support and hope to someone so that they will do or continue to do something.
Alcohol
Alcohol you’re killing my family;
I only wonder if you know.
You come here with your sly white lies
And trick them ‘till they go
Do they know that you are pure poison?
Poison with a tempting taste.
Do they know that you seem “just so benign”
Until you twist their gaze?
Do they know you were created,
to hide the truth from us?
Do they know that you are not the wine
That Jesus made? They must…
The life of the party isn’t liquid,
Flowing freely from our cups and bottles
It’s the life that flows so freely,
From the pure hearts Jesus modeled.
Alcohol, I’ve known you
And you “Can” be quite benign
But when you grip and sink your claws
One’s lost without a sign
Can you and all your other friends,
From quite benign to lethal
Choose to wear a caution sign,
That spoils the end and sequel
Cuz this stage is truly a party!
One where we all dance in freedom.
Without the need to cover up
The awkward stance or season
You’re not a shot of bravery
Or one that calms the nerves
Those are simply lies you’ve told
To twist “sweet wisdom’s” curves
You don’t create the party
You’re simply not that special
It takes a full array of colors;
Each unique human vessel
Alcohol you can’t dry my eyes
Or take the hurt away
You simply push it further down
Until another day…
Can you please tell the truth to them,
And if you don’t I will
Because I love my family,
And the party that you kill!!
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
The Environmental Working Group (EWG) releases an annual “Clean 15” list, highlighting produce with the lowest levels of pesticide residues. These fruits and vegetables are generally considered safer to buy non-organic. Here’s the updated Clean 15 list:
1. Avocados
2. Sweet Corn
3. Pineapples
4. Onions
5. Papayas
6. Sweet Peas (frozen)
7. Asparagus
8. Honeydew Melons
9. Kiwis
10. Cabbage
11. Mushrooms
12. Mangos
13. Sweet Potatoes
14. Watermelon
15. Carrots
Perosnal Prayer Request
I’m heading back to Mayo Clinic this Wednesday for an important series of tests and scans. This visit marks the one-year anniversary of my surgery (right kidney, ureter, prostate, and lymph node removal), so they’ll be conducting a more thorough evaluation to get a clear picture of my current health status. I am grateful that Carol will be joining me. We will receive a full report when we meet with our urologist on Friday, May 2nd. We would both be incredibly grateful for your prayers during this time – for a good report – and a reassurance of God’s gracious presence regardless of the outcome. Thank you so much for your ongoing kindness and unwavering support.
A Healing Prayer
Adapted from Richard Rohr’s Easter Reflections
To Pray (verb): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer ad petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God )Philippians 4:6)
Heavenly Father, we come before you now, especially mindful of our sisters and brothers who are walking through valleys of pain and sorrow. We lift up their silent cries, knowing that in your infinite compassion, not a single tear is lost, not one goes unheeded. We thank you for the powerful truth of Easter, for the resurrection of your Son, Jesus, which is the very bedrock of our hope. In its radiant light, we declare that our hope is not a fleeting illusion, but a steadfast anchor in the storms of life.
Grant us the courage, Lord, to embrace our own difficulties, our own “deaths” – those moments when we reach our limits, when control slips from our grasp, those tipping points that demand, “What am I to do?” Save us from the bitterness, the blame, the closing down that leads only to further darkness. Instead, we pray for the grace to follow the path of Jesus, to go into the full depths of our struggles, even the depths of our own failings, trusting that you will lead us through to transformation. Help us to emerge on the other side more alive, more open, more forgiving of ourselves and others, knowing that we are not holding on by our own strength, but being held by your larger, loving hand.
Father, we acknowledge that none of us can bridge the gap from suffering to healing through our own merit or perfection. We rely solely on your unearned grace, that powerful force that carries us through. Cultivate within us a deep desire for wholeness, for new life, knowing that with that desire, the tomb of our pain will ultimately be empty. Help us to open our eyes and ears to the miracles of transformation happening all around us, all the time – the constant turning of death into life that is your very nature. Strengthen our trust in you, Lord, so that we may never be put to shame, knowing that you are the God who brings forth life from even the deepest darkness. Amen.
Support the work!
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects related to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
https://www.patreon.com/c/pietvanwaarde
