Asking the deeper question...
Why Me?
When you first receive a diagnosis or you receive some form of bad report, we often find ourselves going inside and asking ourselves the question for which there is no good answer. Why? Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong? Why did God let this happen to me?
Even though I am one who believes that there isn’t a good answer to that question, I believe there is some value in asking it, because it prompts some valuable introspection. There are reasons why people end up in the place they do, we all make lifestyle choices that have consequences for both good and not-so-good.
For example, when I received my diagnosis of bladder cancer I did some research and discovered that one of the main causes of bladder cancer is smoking. Smokers are four times more likely to develop bladder cancer than non-smokers. I smoked in my teens and later in life I turned to cigars (much to my wife’s chagrin). I had to face the fact that my choices probably contributed to my development of cancer.
Nor was I very disciplined about health and fitness. I was cavalier about my diet. I am not ready to say those things ‘caused’ my condition. However, it certainly put me in a more vulnerable place. Then there is the matter of stress. Stress builds up in our bodies and we carry it in our shoulders, in our stomachs, in our neck – we all know the feeling – and when we are not great at managing it has a debilitating effect on our bodies. It affects our sleep and deteriorates our immune system. For me, pastoral ministry was a rather stressful role. I wasn’t great about managing that effectively.
The point of this kind of introspection is not meant to magnify shame and guilt – although the enemy loves trying to do that to us – rather the point is to take ownership over what is within my control, make appropriate adjustments, (quit smoking, change the diet, add exercise) and by God’s grace move in that new direction. Candidly, I am still very much in process on all of that.
But here’s the deal, so many of people that I talk to about these things tend to move into a victim mentality that somehow God abandoned them. They have tried their best to do things right and now they’re in this place where life has thrown them an unfair curve – and they hate it. They feel wronged and punished. And yes, there are people who have done most things right and still end up in this place. I have a good friend who was very deliberate about health and fitness and died within two years of his diagnosis leaving a wife and three kids – and that sucks, no doubt. But, as hard as it is to look in the mirror, it can be good to ask the question:
Is there something I still need to own in this? God, is there something you want to say to me about here and now? And maybe you come up with nothing – and it really is about life being unfair and twisted justice. That takes time to get over and some people don’t recover. They turn bitter and resentful. And it’s quite tempting to go to those dark places. It feels justified.
When I am tempted to go there, I find myself coming back to a scenario, where Jesus has just said some hard things to the crowd that was following him. He was honest about life and talked about some uncomfortable truths. People didn’t want to hear it, so they walked away (John 6:66). Jesus then turns to his disciples and says, “You guys going too?” And Peter who was the spokesman for the group says, “Well, Lord, we have thought about it… We don’t always understand what you are saying and why you’re saying it, but where would go? You have the words of life!”
That scenario really helps me, because that is where so many of us find themselves. Life is unfair. People get hurt. Some get a diagnosis they don’t really deserve. Others get better and then the cancer returns. Everything inside says, “I give up! I want to leave!” But then there is that realization, where would we go?
That is why it is such a hard question to address – even after you take responsibility for the parts you have to own – because we may never know what is really at the root of it all and it really does feel unfair. We can’t help but ask, if God is as loving and powerful as we claim him to be, why doesn’t he intervene more demonstratively? Why do people die and leave families high and dry? Why pay attention to a deity who lets those things happen?
I get it! No judgement for those who continually wrestle with these thoughts. But I know for myself and for those who heroically do battle every day, turning their back on the one who can redeem it all, won’t help.
There is statement made by Job, who loses everything (through no fault of his own), “Though He slay me, yet will I follow…” How can he say that? The only thing that makes sense to me is that the God who disappoints us is also the one who inevitably rescues us.
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
Psalm 118:24
I recently returned home from a family vacation to London and Paris. Historically, it’s very difficult for me to step out of the busy-ness of every day life and downshift into a more relaxed state of mind. I tend to stay in my work brain or task brain and struggle to just be. On this trip, I was determined to be present in every moment. I knew this trip was going to be special for our family and I didn’t want to miss it due to being distracted with whatever was waiting for me back home.
I woke up each each morning and asked the Lord to help me stay present, to show me the moments while they were happening. I wanted to be ready for the dinner conversations and moments of wonder along the way. I wanted to hear everything said between the lines and ask questions that lead to meaningful communication. This scripture seemed so perfect. Each day of the trip was a day the Lord had made, rejoice and be glad in it!
Now that I’m back home, I will need to go back to work and real life. But I hope to carry this sentiment forward with me. Each day is a gift made up of moments that ultimately make up the majority of our lives. Vacation is amazing, but in the overall scope of life, it’s just a tiny percentage of the time we get to spend doing whatever it is God has for us.
I plan to continue to ask God each morning to help me show the moments. I don’t want to miss this one life or the beauty in it. I pray you have the capacity this week to experience the wonder and joy of each day. Even on the harder days, God is still at work if we will only ask Him to show us.
Caregivers Corner with
Lori Smith
To Support (noun): to provide assistance that enables one to function or act.
There is so much information out there that we can easily find ourselves in information overload. This is especially true when something as life changing as a cancer diagnosis happens. We get onto Dr. Google to find out everything we can know about this new visitor in our lives. We look at all the statistical outcomes, the ins and outs of the type of cancer we are dealing with, the medical information we receive from doctors, treatment options, stories of healing, and on and on. And then there’s the spiritual aspect of it. We begin to search for the “why,” reading blogs, reading social media posts, and reading books. There is some merit to it, but it can very quickly become overwhelming and distracting.
I did this. My husband did it. We knew what the statistics told us. We knew what we were facing. And, at some point in the journey, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to stop focusing on the information. I needed to just lean into what He had to say by being quiet, by being in His word, and by yielding to where the Spirit led me. I really didn’t like what He said sometimes and I told Him so, but I listened anyway. I didn’t like where He led me because I knew it was leading to loss, but I listened anyway.
And I was reminded of the wisdom in Ecclesiastes 12:11-14 when I would go into information overload.
The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one shepherd. Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them.
Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.
Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
The conclusion of the matter, any matter, is that our job as believers is to fear God and keep his commandments. That’s it. Know His word so you can keep His commandments no matter what situation or hardship you are facing.
So, my prayer for you this week is that you would put down all the extraneous “wisdom” the world has to offer. Focus on God alone and what He wants you to hear about your story. He’s got you, and He knows the conclusion of the matter.
New Worship
Sons of Sunday
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: Runnin With Angels (Spotify, YouTube Music and Apple Music)
Band: Sons of Sunday
From: I Looked Up/One More Day (2025)
I have had this song on repeat for the past few weeks. I love the vibe/sound, but I have been especially taken by this idea that we are running on energy ‘not of this world’ – might even say, “We are running with the angels.” And when it comes to the chorus line, I sing loud and proud: What he begun, let it be done!
SIDE NOTE: Sons of Sunday is a new band of six good friends who just love creating music together: Steven Furtick, Brandon Lake, Chandler Moore, Chris Brown, Leeland Mooring, and Pat Barrett.
Got the devil below me
‘Cause I’m runnin’ with angels
Got the devil below me
‘Cause I’m runnin’ with angels
Got the devil below me
‘Cause I’m runnin’ with angels, yeah
Yeah, the ocean’s a highway
When you know who splits the seas
The ocean’s a highway
When you know who splits the seas
The ocean’s a highway
When you know who splits the seas (mm), oh
Yeah, nothing’s gonna stop what God begun
(Oh, come on) (sing it again)
Yeah, nothing’s gonna stop what God begun
(Mm) what God begun (oh)
(Yeah-uh-yeah) (oh-oh)
(Oh-oh)
What He begun, what He begun
Let it be done, let it be done (let it be done)
What He begun (what He begun)
What He begun (what He begun)
Poetic Encouragement with
Julie Clarke
To Encourage (noun): to give support and hope to someone so that they will do or continue to do something.
How Do I Pray?
Father, how do I pray when there’s hurting
From an unforeseen tragedy
These children were simply the victims
Youth with life still yet to be
How do I comfort your children
Their parents and friends and the like
How do I hand them your strength
When I’ve never seen this kind of sight
Of an accident stealing a life
And the tender hearts, holding on
Of the souls crushing strength of grief
On Repeat song after song
My soul yearns for you to hear me
These people need you now
Please whisper simple reminders
Of moving on, and how
Please circle them with your friendship
And hold their shaking hands
And catch their tears in your golden bow
And water their parched dry lands
Do what you do today Lord
What naturally extends from your hand
And comfort these people
with the comfort, That only you can….
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
I don’t know about you, but I LOVE sweet potatoes.
They are rich in vitamins & minerals, including vitamin A, C, potassium, fiber, and zinc. Plus, they’re super easy to cook! I prioritize buying organic to minimize pesticide exposure.
My favorite way to eat sweet potatoes is roasted in an oven with ghee or butter. SIDE NOTE: Ghee has a higher smoke point so it’s a good oil to roast your potatoes with.
I find that purple potatoes take a shorter time to cook, if you are in a rush. Usually for these, I just cut them into rough cubes, put them on a baking sheet, plop a few dollops of ghee on top with some sea salt and rosemary and then pop them in the oven. After a minute, the ghee will melt and you can use a spatula to coat the potatoes. They only need about 25 minutes of cook time when you roast them at 425.
My personal favorite are the Japanese potatoes. I love to roast these. They also are my favorite for making sweet potato fries.
Try it… you will like it – AND so will the kids!
Piet's Ponderings
To Ponder (verb): to think about something carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion
Now we see things imperfectly…
Paul’s seemingly obvious statement from I Corinthians 13:12 is actually a rather profound truth about our human condition that is often overlooked.
WE ARE LIMITED: by knowledge, understanding, even our own inherent biases. This seems self-evident. Yet, when we are emotionally hooked, we often abandon this wisdom, reacting as if our perspectives were infallible. “They are wrong. I am right. BOOM! End of story,”
But reality is far more complicated.
When we are triggered, our emotional state clouds our perception and diminishes our clarity. Our subsequent pronouncements are then equally flawed, which is obvious to everyone but ourselves.
So, how do we get better at this?
We begin by personally embracing Paul’s insight, by honestly acknowledging our inherent limitations. This recognition should temper our declarations with qualifiers like, “it seems to me,” or “best as I understand.”
Beyond that, I think it also necessitates a fundamental internal shift, where we commit to holding all our beliefs with open hands. When we cling to all-encompassing definitive statements and irrefutable convictions, we invariably find ourselves sheepishly backtracking when new information is revealed and/or our flawed assumptions are exposed.
We would save ourselves so much grief by cultivating a genuine humility that is willing to say, “I do not have all the answers.” Does this preclude strong opinions or reasonable declarations of good and evil? Absolutely not. But, considering the multifaceted nature of almost every situation, we might be surprised by how few things truly fall into such tightly defined categories.
A Healing Prayer
3 John 2
To Pray (verb): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer ad petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God )Philippians 4:6)
We come before You with hearts seeking Your divine touch and healing grace. Your Word in 3 John 2 expresses a beautiful desire: “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”
So we lift up those who are struggling. We pray, in accordance with this very scripture, that all may go well with them in every aspect of their being. Just as we desire their soul to flourish in Your love and truth, so too we ask for their physical body to be strengthened and healed.
We pray for the restoration of their health, for the easing of any pain or discomfort they may be experiencing. We ask for Your healing hand to touch every part of their body, bringing wholeness and vitality. Where there is sickness, bring forth health. Where there is weakness, infuse strength. Where there is pain, grant relief and comfort.
Lord, we also pray that their emotional and mental well-being would be blessed. May they experience peace that surpasses understanding, freedom from anxiety and fear, and a renewed sense of hope and joy. May their minds be clear, their spirits lifted, and their hearts filled with Your love.
Just as You desire their soul to prosper, we pray for their spiritual growth and connection with You. May they be filled with Your wisdom, Your peace, and Your presence. May their faith be strengthened, and may they find comfort and guidance in Your Word.
We trust in Your unfailing love and Your power to heal, Lord. We ask for Your will to be done in their lives, knowing that You are a good and gracious God who desires the best for Your children.
We pray all of this in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Healer.
Check It Out
Updated YouTube Channel
For the past six months, my dear friend Martin Zavala, a highly regarded local filmmaker, and I have been working on several initiatives fueled by our shared compassion for cancer warriors (a cause he understands deeply, having lost his wife to the disease). Together, we’ve created a series of lifestyle videos of my journey, primarily posted to Instagram, and teaching videos for my national Zoom support group for fellow warriors. We’re also thrilled to be launching a new joint series called “Piet’s POV.”
Recognizing that this valuable video content, along with my existing “Pocket Prayer” videos, “SideWalk Conversations” podcast, and other inspirational messages I have shared in different environments, has been scattered across different platforms, my team has encouraged me to bring it all together under one unified banner on YouTube. My brand strategist (Doreen Genmark Heath) has done an incredible job organizing the channel in a way that makes all the material easily accessible and shareable. As you have a moment please take a look, and if you find it helpful and meaningful, subscribe and share it with those you think might benefit from it.
Support the work!
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects related to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
https://www.patreon.com/c/pietvanwaarde
