A Word About
Being Your Own Advocate...
We have all seen it… a friend faces a change in their health status, and suddenly, everyone’s an expert. The internet is overflowing with “cures” and “miracle treatments,” and well-meaning family and friends are chiming in with their own advice. It’s like a tidal wave of information, from scientific studies to grandma’s remedies, and it can be absolutely paralyzing. How do we separate the wheat from the chaff? How do we politely navigate the flood of advice that keeps being offered? It’s a tough spot to be in, trying to make important health decisions while being deluged with multiple options. So, let’s talk about it…
We’ve probably all had the same experience personally: We receive a new report, and it’s not as good as we hoped. Immediately, everyone close to the situation has an opinion.
- Your doctor says one thing,
- Your well-meaning mom another,
- Your best friend read something online…
It’s a whirlwind of “You have to do this!” and “No, not that, do this!” We feel like we are being pulled in a million directions. It can easily become overwhelming and a little scary. You want to make the right decision, but it’s almost as if you don’t have a say in what happens next.
But here’s the thing: it’s your life and it’s your body. You’re the one living with this, not your doctor, not your mom, not your friend. They all sincerely care – of course – and their advice generally comes from a good place. But at the end of the day, you must decide.
So, how do we navigate all this well-meaning, but sometimes conflicting, advice?
- Listen. Hear what everyone has to say. Doctors have expertise, family has love, friends have experiences. But then, it’s time to do your own homework. Pray. Explore. Follow the way of peace.
- Learn. Ask questions – lots of them! Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t understand,” or “Can you explain that again?” Get a second opinion if you need it. The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel.
- Launch. No action is risk free, and there comes a point where you must decide on the best path forward. Move. Choose. Even if it isn’t clear, there are always opportunities to adjust and pivot. Remember, it’s easier to steer a moving car.
Finally, never forget that everyone has their own reasons for what they say. Doctors might be thinking about the latest research, your mom might be worried about being left alone, your friend might have had a similar experience. It’s not that they’re wrong, but their perspective is just one piece of the puzzle.
You are the one who has to put all the pieces together and decide what’s right for you.
This isn’t always easy. It can be tough to go against the advice of someone you trust. But it’s also about taking care of yourself. It’s about being your own advocate. Because ultimately, it’s your health, your life, and together with God’s guidance you deserve to be in the driver’s seat.
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
To Pastor (verb): to shepherd, advise, and guide into a place of deeper spiritual understanding
James 1:17: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights.”
I love this verse…and it makes me wonder. Every good and perfect gift is from above. The little girl in me wants to believe this verse is talking about ponies and ice cream and sunshine and happy days. After all, I’m certain every good thing I have in my life, even now, only exists because of God’s generosity, kindness and mercy towards me.
But I think it might be short-sighted of us to limit gifts from God to the arena of childhood dreams. Even as I wrote that last sentence about God’s mercy towards me, I’m uncomfortably aware He sees a future I haven’t glimpsed yet and He knows what’s truly best for me. For that reason, I want to see things through a different lens, even the hard things.
I’m not at all saying God sends pain or destruction our way, but I do believe some gifts are more disguised than others. When one of my sons was little, he had this unique way of viewing circumstances. If we got caught in traffic, he would always point out there was a reason for our delay we couldn’t possibly know about, but the delay was better than whatever the alternative might have been. He truly believed God had rescued us from some unknown thing by holding us up in traffic. It’s a pretty great perspective, honestly.
I want to see every gift God sends my way for what it is…a gift intended to improve my life in some way. Is God extravagant with His gifts? Absolutely. But He’s also purposeful and I don’t want to miss a single opportunity for gratitude.
I pray this week you see something in your life in a new light, knowing that God is generous, kind, merciful and purposeful in His care of you. Even in the hard things, He’s weaving in gifts that are good and perfect…just for you.
Caregivers Corner with
Lori Smith
To Support (noun): to provide assistance that enables one to function or act.
February is, amongst other things, the love month. The heart of it being Valentine’s Day (pun intended). A day to express our never-ending love for our special someone, or shower our friends with Galentine gifts, or sugar up our kids with chocolate. Through such “holidays,” our society teaches that love is only happy, gushing, overflowing feelings of euphoria. Anything less, and maybe it isn’t actually love?
Love is patient. The word “patient” in 1 Corinthians 13:4a comes from the Greek word makrothumeo, which can be translated “longsuffering.” Interestingly enough, the word “patient” as it refers to someone receiving medical care, comes from the Latin word patiens, which is related to the Greek verb paskhein, meaning “to suffer.” None of this sounds very Valentine-y to me.
It sounds depressing.
But, since this is the first word in the “Love is…” verses, above all, to love is to suffer. To be alive is to suffer. And, to give care to your person is to suffer. They are suffering as the ones with cancer, and because you love them, you are also a patient because you suffer.
The good news is that the one who suffered most because He. Loved. Us. first, knows that we are all patients in need of healing.
On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17)
Jesus understands that we all need the Great Physician because we have all sinned and fallen short of His glory (Romans 3:23). In the remaining weeks of this month of love, may you find that as you care for the one you love with patience, Love Himself will patiently care for you.
Worship Moment with
Joel Salabarria
To Inspire (verb): to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
Song: We Fall Down (Spotify, YouTube and Apple Music)
Band: Chris Tomiln
From: How Great is Our God (2011)
This song is self-explanatory! There are those moments in the craziness of life, where I just want to get and be at the feet of Jesus! When I find this place of intimacy with the Lord, I rediscover that sometimes less is more! We cry Holy, holy, holy is the Lamb!
We fall down
We lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus
The greatness of
Mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus
And we cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
Is the lamb
Poetic Encouragement with
Julie Clarke
To Encourage (noun): to give support and hope to someone so that they will do or continue to do something.
Stoic Survivor
She IS a stoic survivor
Still in need of her Father
Still a little girl just longing for a hug
A tinder kiss that flutters like a bug
Once again, she is searching farther
And stretching her arm even harder
As she tumbles around in this mess.
She seeks something of stability
The likes of which she may not see
Unless she turns…
To further seek his face
Only there, she is,
the fullness of this breath of greatest grace.
Forever she is held and warm and safe
For this moment that is birthed,
She’s sworn…
Secure here in this setting, in this place
This is the strength of His HOLY embrace
It’s with this gaze in the mirror
She searches deeper for her savior
Then she finds a brief…. resemblance of His face
In her brand-new gown hand fit, crocheted in lace
Nutrition Nuggets with
Suzanna Hake
To Nourish (verb): the act or process of being nourished.
Coconut oil can make your food taste delicious and freshen your breath! Have you ever heard of oil pulling? OK, this may sound a bit strange, but don’t discount too quickly. This is an ancient practice that involves swishing oil in your mouth and has numerous benefits.
Oral Health🦷: Reduces harmful bacteria, lowering risk of gum disease and cavities.
Fresh Breath🌱: helps freshen breath by cutting down bacteria and plaque build up.
Whiter teeth✨: Helps remove surface stains for a brighter smile.
Overall Health🌟: Boosts digestion and reduces inflammation.
Use 1T and swish it around in your mouth for up to 20 minutes. Spit out in garbage, not in sink so it doesn’t clog the pipes.
Piet's Ponderings
To Ponder (verb): to think about something carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion
My mom, a WWII POW, taught me (and modeled) a powerful lesson about forgiveness – a lesson we revisited during her visit this past week.
She reminded me that forgiveness – both giving and receiving it – is crucial for our emotional and spiritual well-being. It’s not a one-time fix, either. Bitterness, condemnation, resentment – they all have a way of creeping back in. And when they want to work their way back in, we have to go through the process again:
I let this go…
I release the hurt, the guilt, the offense…
God, I trust you to handle this, in me and in them…
Like the apostle Peter, I sometimes wonder, how many times do I have to do this? Seven times? Jesus’s answer, “Seventy times seven,” feels undoable.
I get tired after thirty-eight! OK, maybe just five…
But what’s the alternative? Do I want to spend my life replaying old hurts and offenses? Absolutely not. So, yes, one more time, Lord, it’s yours.
A Priestly Prayer for the Week
To Pray (verb): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer ad petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God )Philippians 4:6)
Gentle Healer, Source of all that is,
I come before you, seeking peace.
My body aches, my spirit wearies,
And shadows linger, bringing unease.
Touch me with your gentle hand,
Renew my strength, restore my soul.
Mend what is broken, make me whole,
And in your love, let me be well.
Like a river flowing, cleanse my pain,
Like a sunrise, bring new light.
Help me to trust, help me to gain,
The healing power of your might.
I offer you my doubt, my fear,
My worry, and my deep despair.
Replace them with your presence near,
And answer this, my heartfelt prayer.
May your peace surround me now,
May your love my spirit fill.
May I rise renewed, and know how
To walk in your most holy will.
Amen.
Piet's Ponderings
As we launched the Building Resilience Course (for cancer patients and their families), several donors stepped forward to help underwrite the program. I was deeply touched by their unsolicited offers of provision for scholarships. This generosity was a double blessing:
- It affirmed the value of the course itself, and
- It enabled those with financial need to participate.
While the donors wished to remain anonymous, I want to express our sincere gratitude for their support. The ripple effect of their generosity is immeasurable.
Become a donor!
The Van Waarde Foundation underwrites and supports a variety of projects related to supporting, educating, and encouraging fellow cancer warriors and their families.
Thank you in advance for your prayerful consideration.
https://www.patreon.com/c/pietvanwaarde
