On the Journey With
My Story...
Thanksgiving 2019 was not the usual joyous occasion. A month earlier they discovered cancerous tumors in my bladder. They were low-grade, non-muscle invasive, and so the proscribed protocol was to have them surgically removed. They couldn’t get it all the first time around, so they had to go back a second time to clean up what they missed. I spent the holiday recovering from surgery trying to sort out what life would look like now that I had received a cancer diagnosis.
Over the next three-and-half years, I had seven additional surgeries. Every six months they found a new set of tumors, but they were always the same – low grade, non-muscle invasive. They are the least dangerous, but they do have a nasty habit of coming back. In my case, they came back often. I hired a nutritionist who took me through a battery of tests and for the first time in my life I got serious about healthy eating and disciplined (no excuses) exercise. I lost 25 pounds.
In December of 2022, my PSA was elevated, and I went in for further tests. They discovered three tumors in my prostate. The docs told me it was a different kind of cancer from what they discovered in the bladder, but obviously our concern was heightened, and I knew I needed to do something more dramatic.
At the advice of a friend, we explored getting more aggressive with a holistic/non-toxic approach. We read up on several clinics and decided to spend a month in Mexico at a place called Hope4Cancer. It was 21 days of intensive treatment and education where we were introduced to a more integrative approach to healing. It was a very meaningful experience, not just because of what learned but because of the people we met. Several fellow warriors have become fast friends. I wish I could say that experience was enough for us to turn the corner. Sadly, it wasn’t. After a year of following their protocols and two additional visits to the clinic, the cancer persisted. I did notice significant improvement in many of my other health markers, but the cancer continued to ravage my body.
In March of this year, I was able to get an appointment at Mayo Clinic. Through an amazing set of circumstances, a door opened to meet with the head of urology department, who just so happened to have specialties in bladder and prostate cancer. I was there for 5 days and was taken through a battery of tests. Unfortunately, the news was not what we hoped. They found additional tumors in my bladder that were now high-grade, and they immediately scheduled me for another bladder surgery. They also found high grade tumors in my right kidney and ureter. My PSA was also several points higher. The advice of my doc was to eliminate anything that had cancer, so he recommended that he take out the infected kidney, the ureter, prostate and “at risk” lymph nodes. Not the news we wanted to hear, but we felt like the Lord had led us to this point, so we decided to follow his advice.
In preparation for the surgery (and in an effort to keep my bladder) we had the new bladder tumors removed, and we followed that up with five chemo-wash treatments. Then on May 15, I endured a 9.5-hour surgery to have the kidney, ureter, lymph nodes, and prostate removed. There were several complications, one requiring a second surgery to refashion and reattach my healthy ureter to a new place on the bladder. I am still in recovery from that surgery.
It will probably not surprise you that this has been a real test for both Carol and I. We have ridden the roller coaster of hopefulness and disappointment. We have been buoyed by the prayers and love of people who have compassionately walked with us. And now we are looking to find the redemptive angle in all this. We are confident that though we have not experienced the kind of healing (to date) that we had hoped, we know that God is still at work. We also believe that part of his redemptive purpose is that we share the lessons learned and provide encouragement and perspective to those on a similar faith. That is what this newsletter will be all about.
May you know his grace in and through your own journey. We are with you! Please feel free to pass this along to whomever you think might be helped by it.
Now let me take a moment to introduce you to the other friends who will be fellow encouragers in this weekly chronicle.
Soul Care with
Pastor Jenn
Verb: in support and restoration of the wellbeing of persons in their entirety (body, mind, spirit) with a particular focus on the inner life.
I had the privilege of working with Pastor Jenn Orenstein while on staff at Shoreline Church. One of the things I have most appreciated about her is that she has been able to pace herself in ministry such that what she shares comes from a very authentic and wise place. She walks with God. She is also an articulate communicator regarding the practices that enrich and expand the soul. And anyone who is in this journey knows the crucial connection between body and spirit. I am very excited to have her as a part of this initiative!
Caregivers Corner with
Lori Smith
Noun: One who provides direct support for one who is in need of practical help, encouragement and love.
Cancer has far-reaching ripple effects. It doesn’t just impact the patient. It affects everyone around the patient. Typically, and rightly so, most of the attention falls on the patient, but the caregivers need similar support. I watched Lori walk through a very difficult season caring for her husband who had an intense battle with cancer that ultimately took his life (way too soon). Part of how Lori wants to redeem the heartache of that loss is to provide encouragement and support to caregivers who are often overlooked.
Worship Moment with
Joel Salabarria
Verb: True worship is the extreme form of love; a valuing of God above all things.
Worship is more than music, but music is a wonderful means of expressing our worship. I have known Joel for almost five years, and he is one with his own miracle story. During Covid he was on a respirator with little hope of recovery. But God spared him. So, he understands the heartache of feeling helpless and hopeless. He is also a talented worship leader and the brainchild behind Worship Society, a ministry in support of other worship leaders. Each week he will be sharing new music that is meant to encourage your heart to continue trusting God in the midst of it. (Joel Salabarria Music)
Poetic Encouragement with
Julie Clarke
Noun: Poetry is when emotion has found a thought, and the thought has found words. Poetry is what gets lost in translation. ~Robert Frost
For most of my life I had very little use for poetry, but over the last few years I discovered that there is so much in life that can’t be captured with typical straightforward communication. I love how Dylan Thomas says it, “Poetry makes you know you are not alone in the unknown world.” It touches on something soulish and helps us feel known and understood. My friend Julie is a local poet, who I met at the Prayer Barn. I have included her work in a local magazine I write for, and I am delighted that she has agreed to share her work here as well.
Nutrition Nuggest with
Suzanna Hake
Noun: Nutrition is the act or process of being nourished.
It should be simple and straightforward. What does healthy eating look like? If you have ever tried to get a definitive answer on the question, you know how conflicted and confusing the advice is out there. Although it is not our intent to provide expert medical advice, we do want to share lessons learned and helpful healthy living hacks, and Suzannah is one of the best at that. As a fellow cancer warrior, she will be providing interesting insights, healthy recipes and her own learnings on how to best complement and augment one’s ongoing treatment with healthy eating and exercise.
Word of the Week
Sacred
Adjective: Connected with God or dedicated to a divine purpose and so deserving veneration.
Take a first step… you are applauded
Pass the spelling test… you receive a gold star
Make the dance team… you get a high-five
Graduate with honors… you wear a special chord
Land the job… you go out to drinks with friends
Get the promotion… you are named in the company newsletter
Earn your first million… you buy the big house
Become president of the company… you are celebrated on Wall St.
Still not enough
Encounter the divine… you are undone and find your purpose – all at the same time.
